Nervous About Labor and Delivery: You’re Not Alone

Sure, pregnancy is great.  9 months ago you made a baby.  You were sure it was the right thing to do (or you weren’t, either way is fine) but picking at clothes and bedding and dreaming what your little bundle of joy will look like is fun!  Babies are fun, right?

But there’s that nagging feeling.  Before that baby — comes a big mountain to climb — the delivery.  Plenty of people are nervous about labor and delivery.

That’s where your helpful neighborhood labor and delivery nurse comes in (me).  After doing over a thousand (probably — I stopped keeping track after 15 years) of deliveries I know a thing or two about childbirth anxiety.  

Here’s the top 6 things people are nervous for about their delivery (and it’s normal to be nervous with each baby, this isn’t just a first-time mom thing):

Don’t forget that knowledge is 100% power — and that is REALLY try with anxiety — The Online Prenatal Class for Couples GUARANTEES to get you feeling more confident about your delivery!

1.  What if I don’t know what I’m doing?

I’d say that unless you’ve done it MULTIPLE times, most people don’t have delivering a baby down pat.  It’s an awkward thing.  I mean — well, I’m sure you get the picture.

Suffice it to say, no matter how many books you read or classes you take… there are times where you will be clueless.  Newsflash, that’s why you’re paying us.  I do know what to do…. and if I am left clueless we have other nurses, and sometimes even doctors who know what they are doing.  You’re surrounded by competent people.  Never fear.  

Also, be sure to grab all the right stuff for your bag!

Give me the list!

We never share your information with third parties.

2.  What if I poop?

The short answer:  No one will care.  This is a HUGE event.  A little poop won’t get in the way.  Most people do it.  Seriously, don’t do an enema.  All will be well. I have a whole podcast on it:

And, a whole post on my sister site on avoiding pooping at delivery.

3.  What if I have to have a c-section.

The national average is about 30%.  And while it IS a surgery, we do them all the time.  Most often your husband will be there with you, you will be numb, and as soon as the baby is out they can give you something for anxiety.  You will see your baby after.  Your nurse will guide you through the whole thing.  We GET that you are nervous.  I’m a bundle of nerves when my family goes into surgery.  We understand it.  You can even try something like this for healing afterwards.

Also, I have whole posts ENTIRELY on C-sections (and every mamma should read that, as it is a possibility for any of you).

I had a recent podcast with a friend who loved her c-section, worth a listen!

4.  What if I tear?

Well, you just might.  But there is truly NOTHING you can do about it.  Sure, you could do perineal massage ahead of time — but the verdict seems out on that one.  It is something you’ll get through and again, it’s something we do every day — we have tips and tricks to help you through.  You’ll soon enough be using your baby exit area as a playground. 😉  Also, a lot of people seem to like this spray as an alternative to the Dermoplast they give you in the hospital.

I also have a video on how to take care of your bottom after delivery:

5.  What if it hurts.

Ok, it’s going to.  Ask for drugs.  If you’re planning or even considering an epidural be sure to let your nurse know that early on.  There are times that emergencies arise and people have to wait about an hour for an epidural.  During that time we can use IV pain meds, or sometimes positioning or distraction to get you through.  It is going to hurt, but you WILL make it through.  The more you clench-up the longer labor takes.  Try to relax into the pain.

Yeah — that’s easy, right?  I’m sure most men, when kicked in the “family jewels”their first reaction is to “relax”right?  Yup, yours will be too. 🙂  If you think you’re going to go “natural”– take some classes ahead of tim e.  Those people have good tips and tricks that we, as labor nurses, just don’t have time/ability to teach you when the pain is bearing down hard on you.

I have a whole post all about epidurals during childbirth that you might find helpful too!  Looking to go natural — I have a post with your best moves to get a natural birth.

And of course, I have a whole chapter on pain management and a bonus video on natural techniques in The Online Prenatal Class for Couples.

6.  What if something goes wrong?

This is a big one.  I won’t lie that I am a MESS in my own deliveries.  I watch my fetal monitor strip (mistake), I grab that baby right after to give it a good going over.  Things DO go wrong.  Don’t get me wrong.  Life is a miracle.  We have no idea how many things have to fall into place to make a human baby.  It makes the mind boggle — but at any point in that reproduction process, something can go wrong.  The reality is, that at some point you need to give your baby to God.  If you don’t believe in God, I’m not sure what you would do.  You’ll never be able to protect that baby from everything.  Just hang on for the ride of your life.  Pick good doctors and a place you feel safe.

Expectant moms are nervous.  It is a BIG change – Scary!.  Tell your nurse that you’re nervous.  She will give you a hug and tell you she’s got your back.  She truly does.  I care for my patients like I would my sister {or the sister I never had}.  I want things to be perfect.  I want a bundle of joy to cuddle and go home with.  I want to answer your questions and I want to be a resource for you.  Use me up. 🙂  Hang in there expectant moms, it’s a wild ride. but you have friends on your journey.

I really do promise (and studies show) that an online birthing class can really help!

Not sure we’re a good fit check out my free class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.

 Hilary is a labor and delivery nurse and has also worked in other various medical fields.  Anything you read on this blog should not be substituted for your doctor’s advice.  Pick a good doctor, trust them.  Trust your nurse and make good decisions based on their advice.  We’re just a good read.