The glass is truly half full right now. There are SO many great things in our life right now:
1) I have never seen my husband happier. I think it’s hard to describe what the last few years of his job have done to him, emotionally. It’s really sad. I’m just going to leave that there because, like Cinderella, I have a lot of courage and I’m kind, but suffice it to say — I’m not sure our entire FAMILY has been happier in a long time. Possibly since we moved here. Actually, I feel like JUST as I was starting to come out of my funk of Princess P’s birth he got laid off. So, I don’t know. Either way, we’re all quite happy.
2) We are currently very financially stable. There, I said it. At this MINUTE our finances look the best they’ve looked in a long time. We were somehow able to sock away funds after funding graduate school like mad people. Sure, we just got hit with a $1500 dollar car bill, but honestly — I wish all problems could be solved that easily. The blog is doing really well. I’ll have an exciting income report coming up!
3) I have a job. I feel lucky to have made a career choice when I was 16 that is saving our bacon right now. Well, I mean — officially according to #2 my bacon doesn’t need saving, but sometimes I wonder how I made such a good choice at such a young age.
4) Hubby is the positive one. I’m the one having doubts and fears. My husband has been the one who feels like we’re moving and this has all happened for a reason. I feel like that too, but I am doubting Hilary. More about that below. 😉
5) We’re all doing the Dressing Your Truth course {affiliate link}. We even have the men’s course, and the husband is learning a lot about himself. It’s good timing for that one. It’s been really important to get some serious introspection going. I am becoming a Carol Tuttle fan.
We are happy and really working to sift through the things we have at this house. But, in reality the glass is also half empty. It’s always in the back of my mind, I wonder if he’ll get “the” email at some point. It’s hard not to wish our glass was full.
We’ve had a few positive emails. I cling to those like a life preserver, when in reality we’re not even sure if that life preserver floats.
{sigh}
But here is what I do know today.
I know God knows me,
He knows my name.
He knows how VERY hard this is for me.
He has given me angels to keep me afloat, to keep my marriage and my psyche afloat.
Do you know that God loves you, and knows your trials? He feels bad that you have to go through them, and he’s trying to help you as much as you can. If there is one thing you can learn from this whiny blog post, I hope that’s it.
All the while he is building your perfect future somewhere.
I know he’s building ours, and I WISH it would hurry up. Today I had to wait 40 minutes at the temple, I felt like it was a sign that there is more waiting ahead.
And I can wait. I’m patient and understanding of how many bricks there are to build a house and a future for us. I say that to myself at night.
I have the very strongest feeling that this is happening for a REASON and we will find that out at some point, but I am a REALLY big doubter in my own thoughts and feelings. What if that is just wishful thinking? What if my hope isn’t real….
In an effort to keep this blog “real” here’s 3 things that cross my mind far too often”
1. I am SO jealous of all the summer vacations. I thought this would be our first summer to just enjoy ourselves as a family. I had a trip planned to our beloved bay area, but it’s not going to happen. I have shifts scheduled, and we need to keep that money around in case we need to use it. For things that aren’t a vacation…..
2. What if. I’m constantly coming up with worst case scenarios in my mind. I know the worst case scenario and frankly, it’s not all that bad but I don’t feel like that’s what our future holds.
3. I worry that our change will have to happen too fast. I worry that we’ll have to do a whirlwind move and be unable to sell our house for a decent price and will be unable to find a good spot to land. Really, my mind can spin into oblivion on this one.
Anyway, if you know of a good fit for a band director with a masters, let me know. I know where to find a goodie. That guy sure loves music. He’s working on lesson plans and finding great apps to use someday. He really does know what he loves. I really admire that guy. In fact, I love him. 🙂
God has a plan for me. It’s up to me to #havecourage and #bekind and not jump off the plane.
I would also like to announce that I am not a fan of this plane trip. 🙂
If you’re interested in more of our job loss journey — check these posts out!
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Havok says
If sending internet hugs were a thing, I would ship some off right now to you. Not because you sound like you need them, but because this post is exactly what I needed to read right now (like this hour, almost) and I am grateful.
There is a plan. We don’t have to know the plan, but we have to remember that someone much wiser than ourselves does. I, too, want to have things figured and planned and not-to-worry about, but right now that is not the case. Which just has to be okay.
I am glad to hear that you all are doing so well and feeling so great, even with so much up in the air. And hopefully you can have some sort of vacation, though maybe not as you originally planned!
Hilary says
Yeah, we have thought of maybe just going the mountains for a weekend. Who knows. 🙂
I’m glad the post was helpful. I do write them to maybe give others some hope too. It does just have to be OK for now. Good advice. ::)