Realize When You Are Over Your Head

I love the Child Whisperer Podcast.  I’d had a lot of trouble with my oldest over the summer, and I was excited to call in (my call is around 18 minutes) and find out how to fix him.  Her advice was that I wasn’t honoring my happy, fun nature.  I was left with crickets in my head.  I had no idea how to honor that.  I thought about it all week and submitted another question.

How am I supposed to honor my happy, fun nature when I have 2 jobs, and 3 kids all at different schools.  I’m so busy I am just trying to keep up.  Being light and fun does NOT come naturally.  I didn’t even mention (at the time) that my husband was unemployed and I was also PTO president.  I was WAY over my head.

To that she said (at about 34 minutes) that I built a life to support a nature that wasn’t my own.  It was the life I thought I was SUPPOSED to lead.  I couldn’t honor myself with that life, and I needed to change it.

And I had a real lightbulb moment.  I have been blessed with a LOT of energy and will to do things, but I am doing things that aren’t supporting my family.  He was making mistakes because I wasn’t there for him.

Now, a lot of those things are what they are.  I will only be PTO president for another 6 months, my husband will find a job someday soon and I will not have to push so hard on this blog and at work to make ends meet.  Of course, when I wrote that question I was probably the busiest and stressed that I could be.  The one avoidable thing is PTO president, but I don’t feel good about leaving that, just because my life changed.

Anyway, if you feel like me, that you really can’t be yourself because of ALL THE STUFF in your  life, I think it’s time to sit back and ask what needs to change.  For me:

1.  My husband needs to help more.  And my kids need to know that I’m not the great and powerful Wizard of OZ.  You all know they come to me regardless of if their father is sitting on the couch next to them.

2.  I need to drop PTO as soon as I can, and I need to delegate whenever possible.  I often think it will be easier if I just do it myself, but my reality is that stays on my mind and I need to just let stuff go (and stuff may fail without me and I may have to just be OK with that).  BUT, I have a practically non-existant church calling right now.  It will always be something, am I right?

3.  I need to focus on having FUN when I can.  The quantity of fun time might be small, but it can be mighty, if I make it that way.  I may need to even schedule in blank spots to have fun in.

**One other thing is to REALLY try to be forgiving when other people are over their heads.  This is extra hard for me, because I really can pile a LOT onto my own plate and be perfectly fine, but I know there are a lot of people who can’t, and I need to work on being more fine with that.

I have a post about the 5 Tips for Not Doing It All.  It’s good advice.  I need to take it.  What’s your tips for me?  How do YOU realize when you are over your head?

Photos from Dollar Photo Club.

**{Smart} Moms is a relative term.  I had to give it a name, but I am the first one to say I’m not smart all the time. I obviously get WAY over time head sometimes, I just find it easier when I leave larger margins in my life.  This series is just a list of things I’ve found to make life easier — not to say — WOOT WOOT, I’m SOooooOOOO smart! {said like Steve Martin}

Check out all my other {smart} moms posts:[pt_view id=”4256a9870e”]