In Episode 250 of The Pulling Curls Podcast: Pregnancy & Parenting Untangled, Hilary Erickson delves into five reasons your birth might be particularly challenging. From not meshing with your doctor to having solid expectations, she unpacks potential obstacles and offers valuable advice on how to navigate them. Sponsored by the Online Prenatal Class for Couples, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to better prepare for a smoother birth experience.
Find it here on Apple or Spotify Podcasts
Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples — you’ll find these tips and more to have your best pregnancy, birth & postpartum life!
Links for you:
My post 5 reasons your birth might be hard: https://pregnurse.com/birth-hard/
Timestamps:
00:00 Switch providers if unsatisfied; consider larger offices.
04:50 Keep flexible expectations during birth for ease.
07:09 Join online prenatal class to enhance preparation.
Keypoints:
- Discussion on why having a good relationship with your doctor is crucial for a smoother birth experience.
- Advice on switching providers if there’s a mismatch, even past 30 weeks of pregnancy.
- Explanation of previous uterine or cervical surgeries and how they can impact delivery.
- Importance of knowing about cervical surgeries like LEAP and their potential effects on labor.
- Encouragement to start speaking up for oneself during prenatal appointments for better communication during birth.
- Warning against having rigid expectations for birth as it can lead to disappointment and stress.
- Emphasis on positivity and flexibility during labor to make the process easier.
- Significance of being well-prepared for birth and not relying solely on providers for preparation.
- Personal anecdote about the lack of preparation for hospital experiences and the creation of a comprehensive birth class.
- Promotion of the online prenatal class for couples to help expectant parents prepare for various stages of pregnancy and postpartum.
Producer: Drew Erickson
Transcript
[00:00:00.580] – Hilary Erickson
Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on episode 250, we are talking about reasons your birth might be extra hard. Let’s untangle it.
[00:00:11.210] – Hilary Erickson
Hi, I’m Hilary, a serial overcomplicator. I’m also a nurse, mom to three, and the curly head behind Pulling Curls and the pregnancy nurse. This podcast aims to help us stop overcomplicating things and remember how much easier it is to keep things simple. Let’s smooth out those snarls with Pregnancy and Parenting Untangled, The Pulling Curls Podcast.
[00:00:39.270] – Hilary Erickson
The sponsor of today’s episode is the Online Prenatal Class for Couples. We’re going to talk more about it later, but if you’re looking to get prepared, come join me.
[00:00:47.040] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, first reason your birth might be hard is that you don’t mesh well with your doctor. Either you don’t like them, like you dread every single appointment, which happens, or you guys don’t mesh. Sometimes I would get patients who would come in and I would ask who their doctor was and I’d be like, seriously, that’s who you picked? It would just be super surprising to me.
[00:01:08.920] – Hilary Erickson
Then often later on, I would then find out that they didn’t get along well with their doctor and they were stuck with them. So if you don’t like your provider and you’re less than 30 weeks, I 100 % recommend shopping around. If you’re past 30 weeks and you don’t like your provider, I would recommend still shopping around, calling your insurance and seeing if you can switch, things like that. It just gets trickier.
[00:01:31.850] – Hilary Erickson
There’s some providers, especially small groups, that do not want to accept people after 30 weeks. If you’re looking to switch providers, you might want to look towards the bigger offices, which might give you a larger variety of providers as well.
[00:01:44.020] – Hilary Erickson
But if you have a provider that your birth plans or your birth thoughts and mentality, your birth esthetic just doesn’t match, it can make birth really tricky. So I just want to put that out there. I know it can feel like a pain to change your provider, but it could be worth it in the end.
[00:02:01.100] – Hilary Erickson
By the way, I have a whole post on more of my thoughts about these five reasons, so I will put the link in the show notes as well.
[00:02:08.510] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, reason number two is that you’ve had previous uterine surgery or previous cervical surgery. Now, a lot of people don’t think about the cervical surgery. Usually it’s called a leap. That’s what I see most often. It’s when your pap smear comes back and there’s a few abnormal cells. And so they’ll do something called a cone biopsy or they freeze themselves.
[00:02:27.690] – Hilary Erickson
That can create, it doesn’t always, but it can create scar tissue on your cervix that can make it difficult to dilate. So think of it as you put a hot poker on an elastic band and then you try and stretch that elastic band. Obviously, the area that’s been scarred by the hot poker may not stretch the same way.
[00:02:47.310] – Hilary Erickson
Sometimes it does totally fine, or sometimes it just has to stretch extra, and then boom, it stretches and you’re great. But it’s something to be aware of. If you’ve had previous uterine surgery, there’s a good chance you might need to have a C-section. So these are just things to consider. Usually, previous uterine surgery people know, but a lot of people don’t know about the cervical surgery, so I wanted to put that in there as well.
[00:03:08.170] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, tip number three is that you can’t speak up for yourself. If you’re at your appointment and your doctor orders something and you’re like, Why is he ordering that, but you feel too timid to ask why or ask more questions, there’s a chance your birth is going to be hard because a lot of birth is making choices for yourself.
[00:03:24.590] – Hilary Erickson
And if you can’t do that in the office, it’s only going to be worse when you add the pain and the anxiety of being in in a hospital. So I always recommend that people start speaking up for themselves very early in pregnancy. I will say that for kids who are young, have a really hard time speaking up for themselves.
[00:03:43.670] – Hilary Erickson
And so if this is a quality that you don’t possess, start doing… I know it’s going to feel real weird, but do role plays with friends about ways to talk with your provider. Look for people that frequently talk with providers. And tip number five is going to give you more tips about this. But looking for ways to talk with your provider just about simple things will prepare you to talk about the bigger things when you’re going in for your birth.
[00:04:08.120] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, number four is having very solid expectations. A lot of people feel like if they think and plan for a specific type of birth, they can manifest that. And I’m here to tell you that you can’t, right? If you’ve thought your whole time, I’m not going to have a C-section, I’m not going to have a C-section.
[00:04:25.780] – Hilary Erickson
I swear the only thing your head hears is C-section, and that’s where you end up going. And I know a lot of people say, oh, it’s the nurse’s fault. But a lot of it really is your attitude towards, I can make this birth be what I want it to be. And I get that. I’m that person in real life, right? I can make this situation be what I want it to be when in reality, the situation is going to be whatever the heck it wants to be.
[00:04:50.820] – Hilary Erickson
And so I always encourage you to think positively about your birth, plan for your birth, prepare for your birth, but having super solid expectations, which may get dashed, can really make birth hard. If you are so set on not getting an epidural, yet you needed to be induced and you made the choice to be induced early, and you’re in hour 32 of labor and you’re so tired and so miserable, and then you get an epidural and then you’re just mad at yourself and you’re traumatized by the choices that you’ve made. I just feel like you would have been better off if you had not had such solid expectations.
[00:05:24.090] – Hilary Erickson
Sure, we’re going to go in. I’m going to try to not get an epidural. I’ve prepared in these different ways, but I’m ready to go with the I think being able to go with the flow is so important in labor. One of the best ways to make birth easier is to go with the flow. So that’s my best tip there.
[00:05:39.270] – Hilary Erickson
All right, tip number five is that you are not prepared for birth. And getting prepared is so important. And I really feel like a lot of people think that it’s your provider’s job to prepare you during delivery or at your prenatal appointments. And I’m here to tell you that they just can’t prepare you for all the things that you should be prepared for.
[00:05:58.520] – Hilary Erickson
And you’ve been pregnant these this whole nine months. You have the opportunity to get prepared. I remember when I was in the hospital with my appendectomy, I was thinking, Gosh, I wish I could have taken a class about appendectomies because I had no idea what to expect. Obviously, I couldn’t. I mean, I guess everyone could take it, but you’d probably forget it, and it would just be dumb.
[00:06:16.700] – Hilary Erickson
But you’re pregnant, you know that it’s coming. So I would encourage you to take a birth class. Make sure that you’re taking a birth class that actually prepares you. It’s not just a birth class to mark it off on your things to do before a baby is born.
[00:06:30.320] – Hilary Erickson
I took a birth class in 2000 that checked off ‘take a birth class’. Did it prepare me? Absolutely not. Woefully unprepared for life after baby was born and taking them home. I think they showed me how to change a diaper, but did they talk about what my bottom would feel like, or my emotions, or how difficult breastfeeding could be, and how to get resources for help? Absolutely not.
[00:06:53.710] – Hilary Erickson
If I could go back in time, that’s one of the big things I would change. And so when I created the online prenatal class for couples, I created the birth class that I needed back then, and it’s the birth class that you need now. It is going to prepare you for the rest of your pregnancy. We talk about third trimester testing labor, including laboring at home, which is a really important thing to know how to do.
[00:07:15.590] – Hilary Erickson
Laboring at the hospital, birth, and postpartum, both at the hospital and when you go home. So come join me in the online prenatal class for couples. Let’s get you prepared. Let’s bypass a lot of these things. Obviously, some of them you can’t change. If you’re stuck with a provider because of your insurance, a birth class can still circumvent any of those issues and help you communicate with them better. And it’s going to help you know about things like cervical scarring because there are other things about your body that can be problematic.
[00:07:42.990] – Hilary Erickson
So you just know a little bit more of what to expect. So you’re not having poor outcomes because your expectations are different than what actually ends up happening.
[00:07:52.050] – Hilary Erickson
Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. That post is super popular, so feel free to check it out in the show notes.
[00:07:58.640] – Hilary Erickson
Next week, we are talking about moving my parents into retirement living, which is, I think, something everybody needs to learn about. And the week after that, we’re talking about strength training, which is funny because I definitely strength trained moving them. So there’s that.
[00:08:14.250] – Hilary Erickson
Thanks for joining us on the Pulling Curls Podcast today. If you liked today’s episode, please consider reviewing, sharing, subscribing. It really helps our podcast grow. Thank you.
Keywords:
birth complications, hard birth, pregnancy nurse, prenatal class, switching doctors, doctor-patient relationship, meshing with doctor, uterine surgery, cervical surgery, cervical scarring, LEAP procedure, pap smear, dilate cervix, C-section, speaking up, birth plans, birth expectations, birth trauma, labor pain, epidural, induced labor, birth preparation, birth class, online prenatal class, third trimester testing, laboring at home, postpartum care, breastfeeding difficulties, pregnancy resources, strength training during pregnancy.
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