There are a few things that we can see in advance that can be red flags of a possible difficult delivery. These aren’t “sure” signs — but they are signs that things may not be as easy as we’d hope — so be sure you’re watching out for them!
But, how do I know so much about difficult deliveries? — Hi, I’m Hilary. Many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse®. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of labor and delivery experience. I’m now one of the top pregnancy educators online and I’m excited to give you some information you may not have had previously.
FYI, This is a sister-post for my post on 5 signs your birth might be hard over on The Pregnancy Nurse.
Not Exercising
I recently wrote a post on birth trauma, and one of the indicators for birth trauma was not exercising.
Now, I haven’t entirely figured that out — but in talking with people I’ve come up with a few theories:
Moves Your Pelvis
We often have jobs that keep us in an office chair all day, and that is not doing our pelvis any favor as we get closer to birth. You want to look for workouts that move your body in a variety of ways (aka, walking — while great — may not be the best one).
Side Lunges, pelvic tilts, squats — these are all things using muscles we don’t often move and will benefit us as we go towards birth.
Keeps You Positive
I think working out changes our mindset. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I do it first thing. I just tend to be more positive and ready to face things in my day. It makes me want to work out (and frankly, that’s rare — I am not a workout fan).
Used to Hard Work
You’re used to pushing yourself physically.
One of the providers I used to work for (get ready for some racism here) used to say that white girls gave birth better than Vietnamese because we take PE in school. Keeping in mind the doctor was also Vietnamese.
While I think that statement is very much flawed, I do think there’s something to being used to pushing yourself physically — and how that relates to how you handle labor.
I will say that many people are traumatized by how much work it takes to push out a baby. Often on social media we’re told that if we just pick the right position pushing will be easy (and it IS for SOME moms). BUT average pushing time is about 2 hours — so you need to be prepared to work once you get fully dilated.
Of course, I also recommend a MENTAL exercise — and get a birth plan set up beforehand. I’ll help you write up one right here:
Doctor Isn’t a Good Fit
Having a provider that isn’t a good fit for you can be problematic.
Communication can be hard — which make all of labor hard as you make choices for yourself.
What you value may not align — they may strongly believe in the medical side of labor, but you believe that nature does it best. Butting heads frequently isn’t always a good sign.
Prenatal Visits Suck — maybe they don’t answer questions or brush problems aside. That makes you worry they’ll do similar things as you’re in labor (this may or may not be true).
Now, I know that insurance is often a burden we bear in these situations — and it can make it hard to find a provider you align with.
This IN NO WAY means you’ll have a horrible birth, but if you know a provider is a downfall of yours, I’d 100% recommend:
- Work to make communication as good as it can be (review your birth plan early and often)
- Remember you catch more flies (and kindness) with honey than vinegar — kindness counts, even if your provider is a jerkface.
- Work on the other options in this post — getting prepared, exercising, and feeling confident can carry you a LONG way!
Want more posts on working with providers — check these out:
- Tips To Saying No To Your Provider
- 6 Things Your Provider Does At Prenatal Appointments That Are Important
- How A Birth Class Changes Pregnancy, Labor, Birth & Life With Baby
- The Best Providers for Your Baby’s Arrival: A Deep Dive with CNM Juli Pyle
- Things Your OB Won’t Tell You That You Need to Know
Pelvic Relaxation
A lot of people know about Kegel’s — working to strengthen those muscles.
But, do you know how to RELAX them?
Often, people have a very tight pelvic floor and haven’t worked on relaxing it.
This is something you can easily do on your own — there’s lots of videos that can help on Youtube — like this one:
Relaxing your pelvic floor helps….
- Baby move into the birth canal easier
- Push more effectively (as you’re not pushing against tightened muscles)
It isn’t hard, I find it relaxing and really helpful. I 100% recommend learning more about this one.
Prepare for YOUR Birth
So many people prepare for the birth that’s in their head be it:
- Unmedicated
- Having an epidural
- Being induced
- Having a C-section
- A vaginal Delivery
But I’m here, after seeing thousands of births to tell you that you just can’t plan on having a specific type of birth. You have to prepare for ALL the types.
Now, that’s not to say that you need to know how to perform a C-section.
It is to say that you need to have a basic idea of what to expect and what choices you might face with each of them.
The Online Prenatal Class for Couples prepares you in 20-minute “birth bites” for the birth you’ll end-up having. In just about 3 hours you’ll be on your way and feeling so much more confident no matter what happens in labor and delivery WITH your partner (a huge bonus.
It’s the perfect class if you:
- Don’t have a lot of time, and want to get it done quickly
- Would prefer it not break the bank (it comes at two price points, both of which will prepare you for all types of birth).
- Are worried about birth in any way — be it just general fear or even bringing in fears from a previous birth.
Use coupon code EASYBIRTH to get 10% off if you start today!
Feeling Afraid
Carrying fear into the labor room is one of the biggest risk factors for birth trauma.
That fear can make labor longer, can be bad for you and baby during pregnancy/birth, and can affect the choices you make in labor.
If your fear comes from a previous birth, get prepared. Maybe do some therapy to work through those feelings. Yes, I recommend a birth class for 2+ babies (my online course is perfect for that).
If your fear just comes from the unknown — get prepared. No shame in also getting some therapy in talking through how the unknown can be scary, and giving you some tools to manage it.
Long-term stress or anxiety has shown to be problematic for both mom and baby during pregnancy — so working to get through it is so smart.
Personally, I had a lot of fear about the unknown and therapy helped me a lot — as a mom, wife and human. I think it could help you too. But, getting prepared where possible is also SUPER smart. So glad you’re here.
I’m not here to freak you out about birth. I’m here to show you that there are some very simple things you can do to get prepared for birth. When you work from your end, and keep things positive I believe so many good things are in store for you!
Did I miss something? Tell me in the comments!
Still wanting a bit more advice — check out my free class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.
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