Why I Hate Mother’s Day {and love it}

This is story that some of you might relate to.  Initially, I was going to share all the glorious gifts that your family could give you this mother’s day, but instead I thought I’d share my own experience with Mother’s Day.  And why I hate mother’s day (and also love it).

This post was originally written in 1997, but it might help you sort out some Mother’s Day feelings of your own!

Why I hate Mother’s Day

I enjoyed mother’s day as a child.  I love my mother, and I enjoyed giving her small gifts and singing in church.  I mean, but she’s just my mom — right — how much “day” does she need?

Enter having my own child and it tearing my life into pieces.  I realized that people should be BOWING down to their moms.  My husband should kiss the ground I walk on as becoming a mother had almost killed me.

I loved my son, but he almost killed me.

And then Mother’s Day came.  And I got a few simple things, and I went on with my day.

And I realized that most of the world thought like I did before I was a mother.  How much “day” does a person really need for “just” being a mom.

And that went on for a few more years until a good leader told my husband they wouldn’t have bishopric meeting that day.  Instead, they were to honor their wives.

My husband had been in a church position that put him gone quite a bit on Sundays and having him home that WHOLE day was a gift — and I stayed in bed.  I stayed alone and just enjoyed some TV, reading and ALONE Time.  For once, my body and my bed were my OWN.  I didn’t have little creatures coming to wrestle me out.

And I realized that was how I wanted to be honored.

I wanted to not be a mom for a few hours.  I wanted my husband to take on duties and I wanted to feel EXTREMELY special — but not being showered by gold and jewels.

I just wanted his time.  And now, as my kids are older, I want their time.  I want them to realize what I’ve done for them.

Even if it’s only for a day.

I must admit, my husband isn’t great with gifts.  I’ve learned to be VERY specific about what I’d like.  And he is cool with that.

Just in case you’re looking for a few things that you’ll really enjoy I have my top five gifts here:

1.  Gift cards.  The gift of a day shopping by myself is one of the BEST gifts you can give a young mother.  My husband can’t really ever decide on sizing or what I would really like — but a gift card is like a second mothers day.  Huzzah!
2. Bosch Mixer.  If you’re into baking, there is NOTHING better than a Bosch mixer.  I love mine!
3. Necklace.  I think it’s so sweet to carry a little bit of your heart around with you wherever you go.  I really like this one on Amazon (I also like the price) — but I LOVE the stuff from Charmed Collections — totally personalize it!
4. A Roomba.  Guys — I am STILL waiting for one of these, but I think they’re a magical fairyland.  Whenever I see them on social media I get SUPER jealous.  It’s something I’m working on. 😉  Or, check out my update on Roomba vs iLife.
5. Enroll in one of my courses.  No matter where you are in your motherhood journey, I’ve got one for you! Save 10% with code PC10.

A few tips for getting a great mother’s day:

1.  Be specific about what you want.  Be very clear that you’re not doing this to hurt their feelings, but just feeling like you deserve what you want.  Also, now that my kids are older I really lay the guilt on.  ALL those days of pickup.  ALL those times I bailed them out. They get ONE DAY to GET ON IT.  They’re starting to get the hint. 😉
2. Take it.  Don’t make breakfast.  Be very clear that you are taking the day off and you REALLY expect to be pampered.  Mothers Day can sneak up on a family, but don’t let that happen to yours!
3. Lower the expectations.  Yes — you put your entire life on hold to raise a human.  But they don’t really know that.  Take what you can get, enjoy the day as it comes, and enjoy your family.  You’ve done so very much to keep it going.

A VERY Happy Mothers day to EACH one of you!  You’re changing the world.  One little hand, one little step, one little word at a time.

P.S.  If you’re feeling like you’re not a very good mom.  I’d urge you to remember what your kids would be without you.  They literally can’t survive.  Humans are born completely incapable of living on their own.  You kept them alive!  You are doing a GREAT job!