Biggest Labor Mistakes

What should you NOT do going into labor? Today this L&D Nurse is going to share the top 5 mistakes you might make in labor.

How do I know this?

Hi! I’m Hilary — many people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse 👩‍⚕️. I have been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of OB nursing experience, I am also the curly head behind this website Pulling Curls and The Online Prenatal Class for Couples. 🩺​ — I’ve seen THOUSANDS of families in the labor room and I’ve seen a LOT of mistakes in that time — so I think I’m a pretty good one to give you an idea of what NOT to do.

Be sure to grab my hospital checklist, so you’re prepared with the right STUFF at least:

Ok, let’s talk.

Labor Mistakes

#1: Not Getting Prepared

SO many women find themselves having “birth trauma” because they are in a “foreign land” and have no idea what to expect!

If you have an idea of what to expect, it really is so much better.

If you went to a foreign land you’d work on learning some language and know something of where you wanted to go and what you wanted to do — it’s really the same for the hospital.

You’d be shocked to know how many people show up to L&D with ZERO idea of what to expect…. and then they’re miserable. It’s sad.

Yes, nurses do a LOT to teach, but sometimes things are SO crazy busy we just can’t. I want to be truthful in saying that sometimes we are so busy trying to keep everyone healthy and progressing we can’t sit at your bedside and chat for an hour. I wish I could!

** This isn’t to say that “birth trauma” is something made up. I do believe these women are traumatized by an experience. That’s hard, and not good at all. I work to fix that, one patient at a time.

However, preparing in advance really helps. I know the best way. 🙂

#2: Not speaking up

I like to compare the hospital (especially labor and delivery) to public transit. We are driving a bus in the same place we normally drive it.

It’s up to you to “pull the cord” and tell me when you want to get off, or even change direction. We can do that — but we need you to tell us.

I talked all about that in my saying no podcast with my friend Mandy:

So many people have no idea what they want, and we do need to move forward, so we usually move forward according to our policies and regular procedures (until you stop us).

You might hear us say — OK, the plan is to put in an IV and just monitor how frequent the contractions are for now. Totally up to you if you want to say that you’d prefer not to have an IV or that you’d like to walk. Speak up!

#3: Not trusting your doctor

So often I get people second-guessing their doctor at every turn of the road.

And while the current healthcare situation does make it hard to get the doctor of your dreams without paying out of network costs — I think it is SO important to trust your doctor.

If you don’t, and you’re before 20 weeks — change doctors. Ask around, dig deep into your provider directory and interview some to see who would be a better fit (this may take a good amount of effort on your part).

If you’re after 20 weeks, you might be able to switch… you could call to recommended providers and see if they will take you.

If you’re after 30 weeks, it is likely that you are stuck with the provider you have had for the last 10 weeks or so. It is time to get on the same page with them, and really have a “come to Jesus moment” that you aren’t really trusting them and you’d like to.

You NEED to trust your physician. You need to know that there are times in L&D that they can make a decision that will change the trajectory of your life. If you can’t trust them to not cut an episiotomy even if you’ve asked them not to — how will you trust them to keep/remove your uterus if it comes to that!

#4: Not having the right support

Going into the labor room with the right people is important.

Previously, I’ve talked about who CAN be in the labor room – but I think it’s also important to consider who will be the most supportive to you?

My mom wasn’t on that list and my husband was sort of on that list. 🙂

I have a lot of different anxieties about labor and I sometimes wish I had brought a fellow L&D nurse with me who knew what was going through my mind when I see heart rates drop…

Luckily, God blessed me with great L&D nurses who tolerated an anxious fellow nurse. 🙂

So, ask yourself if person X, Y or Z really has your best interests in mind in the labor room. Will they say or do things that set you back from the positive environment you want?

If so, tell them you’d like to see them after the baby is born. Which is totally fine, and true friends will respect that.

If you don’t think you can find the support you’ll need, you might want to consider a doula.

BTW, having a GREAT support partner is one of the MAIN reasons I created this class. It’s really meant for both of you, and partners LOVE it as much as the birthers do!

#5: Trusting the Internet

Says the girl on the internet.…

Yes, do as I say not as I write….

But I have to say there is so much wrong info on the internet. When patients come in telling me things like:

• Pitocin is Poison
• We implant transmitters in babies when we give the immunizations
• They want to eat their own placenta fresh {true stories}

I just look at them and wonder how they came up with all of this, and how they planned to have a safe delivery with me if they thought I did all these things routinely.

There is a lot of right info on the internet (I pride myself on top notch pregnancy content) — but a lot of it is:

• Fear-based (this helps no one).
• Based on ONE person’s experience.
• Studies that I am not sure HOW they got the results, but in digging deeper, it wasn’t with appropriate methods.

So, this is all to say that I have three rules that rule my labor rooms:

1. Trust your doctor
2. Stay flexible
3. Remain positive and calm

Honestly, these are the things I rule my own life, business, and family by. I think they’re good things for all of us to remember.

And now, it’s time for you avoid those easy mistake by getting a prenatal class. This one is….

• Taught by a L&D nurse with 20 years of experience.
• Is the #1 hospital-based class on the internet.
• Takes just 3 hours to get done!

I can’t wait to see you in there. Learn more here.

If you’re not QUITE ready for the full class, try my birth prep toolkit. You can also sign-up right here: