Naked Cleaning.

It’s not what you think.
Well, maybe it is.
But I doubt it.

First off.  A couple of thoughts:

a)  I used to talk lots about my life as a mom on this blog.  I just don’t do that much anymore.  Sure, I give brief overviews sometimes but I mostly talk about how AMAZING I am {blech, blech} and how much I get done and how pretty I am.  Wait, not about how pretty I am.  That’s another blog.  Anyway, I need to include more real life moments.  I like it in elementary school how they take a small moment and “blow it up big” in a narrative piece.  I need to do that more.  I will miss that later.

b)  I just don’t want to be one of those moms who says that she will miss every little ounce of having young children.  They are lying.  If they went back 30 years to themselves I am 100% sure there are moments they could do without.  YES.  I will miss these kids.  I’m trying to drink in every last moment with Princess P as my tiny whiny but man oh man…  Let’s just say today was one of those moments.

I got up early, after a night of someone coughing and crying.  Princess P is the worst sleeper.  She always has been.  That girl wants to WORK me a lot of the time.  Drives me crazy.  Main problem is that I don’t really know when something’s wrong or when she’s just WORKING me.  She has cried wolf too many times, let this be a lesson to 3 year olds out there.

BUT, I am determined to workout.  I’m going to get strong this year.  My Firm DVD didn’t work on Monday so I threw in an old VHS.  I throw that take in again and it’s not working.  After some fiddling, I pull it out and see the tape has snaped.  oh. yay.  I pull out DVD that didn’t work on Monday and it works today.  This particular DVD has a part where you have their 14 inch step and do step aerboics on it.  Nothing crazy, just your basic step, but it is REEEdiculous.  I find myself ala Jilian after it wanting to throw up.  I feel myself fainting.  I lay on the couch.  I watch crazy Stepford Firm women and wonder why I want to get strong.  I get a drink of water, I lay on my bed for a couple of minutes and feel better so I finish up the workout.  DANG IT, I am GOING to be STRONG.  Take that.

I head upstairs, I read my scriptures.  I’m struck by the stories Joseph Smith tells of his own weaknesses.  I am SO grateful that he did, I’m sure that’s not easy but it is a good lesson for all of us in repentance and how we ALL have weakenesses.

I jump in the shower (frankly, I’m pretty sure I looked at Facebook a minute before this, but I’d like to think I knew the day was going to spiral downward quickly and just got a jump on personal hygiene  and I quickly shower.  Today is a no-hair-wash kind of day (I only wash my hair twice a week).  I get out and as I’m wrapping the towel around myself and I hear hacking.  Sure, it’s coughing but it’s also gagging.  The gagging continues.  I weigh my options but I run into Paige’s room just in time to see her cough up all the mucous her sweet little body had put into her stomach all night.  All over her comforter.  Yay!  I grab her (towel falling off) and haul her into the bathroom (which, thankfully isn’t far) and set her up to worship the toilet for a bit.  I run back in her room to see what the damage is, with washcloth in hand to wipe up what I can.  Secretly praying I won’t have to wash the comforter.  I was wrong.

I head back to my burning up princess P and she just wants to be held.  Regardless of the fact that I’m totally wet with no clothes on.  “Mamma, I need you” I pick her up and I feel happy she is warm because I am freezing at this point.  I haul her, and a throw-up bin (you know the kind they all had a bath in the hospital) into my room so I can at least put some clothes on.  She cries the entire time I get dressed.  Oh the humanity of not holding her.

I take her downstairs and get her a sippy cup.  No milk this morning, but I’m pretty sure this is a cold and not the stomach flu.  I guess time will tell.  I pop a tylenol in her (she calls it medicina para dolor).  I revel in her hot little pink cheeks.  Sometimes kids are cute when they’re sick.  Especially once you have clothes on.

I give her a few minutes of cuddle but then I really want to brush my teeth.  I ask her if I can run upstairs and she says yes. I brush my teeth and make my bed.  Spencer is taking his temperature now, hopeful he can head to school.  His temp yesterday wasn’t above 100.4, so I am VERY hopeful as well (he was so helpful, in fact, last night he asked Drew for a blessing so he’d be able to go to school today).  I remind Conner to get out of bed.  I get some tween lip which I choose to ignore.  I go in Princess P’s room and see that the comforter can’t be saved, I also smelled pee when I put her on the couch.  Turns out she did wet her bed last night.  I get all the sheets and comforter.  I head to the wash.  Down the stairs just in time to see what mucous was LEFT in her stomach come out on our living room rug (1000 square feet of tile, if not more, on this floor and she finds the RUG to throw up on).  I grab some rags and wipe it off.  Somehow thankful for the congealing characteristics of mucous and that most of it comes right up.  I remind her to throw up in her bin next time.  She holds bin close, like a stuffed animal.  At the same time Conner is coming at me telling me there is nothing to have for lunch, he has no idea what goes in a sandwich, his life is exceedingly difficult.  I want to throw the rags in his face.  I don’t.

I throw in the sheets and comforter.  Not really sure our washer can handle all of it, but I shove anyway.

Princess P continues to cough, a lot.  I think back to the old times where we could just give robitussin or some good ol’ triaminic.  I’m not sure what to do for her.  I hate it when I cough and cough.  I remember back to something I pinned on pintrest about vicks on their feet.  I realize today is grocery shopping day.  I really need to go.  Tomorrow I’ll have 3 kids home.  In the midst of all this, Spencer declares his Temp is 97.6 — HORRAY it’s a school day!  We are both thrilled.  I wish I had taken the time to talk about how lucky he was to get a blessing.  I didn’t.  I didn’t even think about it.

I’m mulling taking a sick kid to Walmart.  I don’t want her touching the cart, or getting so upset that she throws up (which is what happened last time too).  I realize I can put her in my backpack and haul her around the store that way.  I ask her, she says she’s feeling better (thank you Tylenol) and she wants to ride on my back.  Horray, a plan.  I take her, and her ammonia-smelling PJ’s upstairs and get her dressed.  She provides very little help but to tell me she is cold.

I make myself some oatmeal.  It will be a good 1/2 an hour before I’m “allowed” to eat it.  I need to get S out the door and C needs reminding that he can’t sit like a Paige on a couch and watch TV.  He sits down.  I’m trying to do my 10 minute tidy because I know I need to fit it in when I can.  P is happily watching the today show.  I text Drew.  I don’t get a response.  I am not surprised.

Spend some time on the couch with P making sure we’re going to be able to make it to Walmart.  She seems to be fine one minute and not so fine the next.  I say a quick mom prayer.

I get up and tidy up the kitchen a little and then remember I have oatmeal and that I worked out to the point of vomitus almost an hour ago.  I need fuel.  I shovel it in and take my vitamins.  Thankful that I bought some Vitamin D and B’s at Costco last week.  I’m hoping their immune-boosting qualities will get me through.  So far, so good (Spencer had a rash, followed by a fever, followed by a cough last week… yucky germ fest that is my house).

Conner is finally ready, but he doesn’t have shoes on.  I pack P up and put her in the car.  I put her throw up bin in there and I throw a ziploc in my purse to ward off evil vomiting forces.  I find the baby backpack and throw it next to her too.  {WHAT AM I THINKING}  Conner tries to walk over all the stuff next to P instead of get in on his own side {WHAT IS HE THINING}.  And we’re off.  I drop Conner off to school and his waterbottle somehow smacks him in the head on his way out of the van.  I ask why he doesn’t use his water bottle pocket.  He says it doesn’t work and walks off.

We head to Walmart.  I am glad I haven’t given/sold this backpack yet.  It’s come in handy a few times.  The weight limit will be good for P until she’s 12.  P is happy as pie in that backpack.  She’s pointing out stuff in the store.  I am wondering why I worked out this morning I do about 30 squats with an extra 28 pounds on my back picking up stuff.  Hopeful the scale will appreciate it tomorrow.

Somehow this ends-up being my largest Walmart trip in a while.  A lot of great sales and I got my vicks vaporub.  Also some tylenol.  Love the Walmart drug bottles that are 88 cents each.  Water is on sale too.  I have found myself nervous about our water storage after a class at church.  Most of it is outside.  Glad to put some under the stairs.  Princes is doing great in the backpack.  Happy I made this choice, but tiring quickly of her on my back.

The rest of the day fades into all the other days.  I am no longer naked cleaning up vomit.  I plopped my baby on the couch to watch Youtube Disney movies and she falls asleep during Fantasia.  I love napping Princess P and I haul her up to her room with a kiss.  I think about sanitizing my lips afterwards.

So thankful for these little children that fill my days but I really would like to make my life a little more MY life.  It’s like walking a tightrope.  Naked.