While providers really do try to help you during your pregnancy, there’s a lot they won’t tell you about having a better pregnancy or birth. Today I’m going to share a few that catch people off-guard and you’ll feel so much better being prepared.
How do I know so much about this? Hi, I’m Hilary — most people know me as The Pregnancy Nurse® but I’m also the curly head here at Pulling Curls®. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of labor and delivery appointments. I very well know how rushed those prenatal appointments can seem, and have seen lots of providers and what they share or don’t share with patients — so I’m a great one to give you some ideas here!
Before we get going — have you thought about your birth plan — let me help you out:
How to Get Help
One of the biggest things I see providers not telling patients is what to do if they have an issue outside of office hours?
Of course, if it’s something that CAN be handled during office hours, that’s what you should do — but sometimes things can’t wait. If you have something you think is urgent — what should you do?
Most providers have someone who takes phone calls for the, but not all do. You should find out what you should do outside of office hours. Some providers have you call Labor & Delivery, so just knowing should provide a lot of relief from the “what if’s”.
Here’s a few more posts on providers that might interest you:
- Tips To Saying No To Your Provider
- 6 Things Your Provider Does At Prenatal Appointments That Are Important
- The Best Providers for Your Baby’s Arrival: A Deep Dive with CNM Juli Pyle
- 5 Things Your Provider Should Get Consent For During Labor
Kick Counts
I’m sad to say I see a good amount of providers saying that kick counts aren’t important. Which just drives me crazy.
Part of me (the cynical part) wonders if they just don’t want to get the phone calls…. They just don’t want to know if you’re having less movement.
The reality is that when you’re monitoring fetal movement there are going to be some false alarms. BUT if you’re doing it right those should be less-frequent and have more knowledge behind it.
I’m a huge fan of kick counts, and if your provider doesn’t mention them I’d ask them why not. Studies show it can save 1/4 stillbirths. Grab my cheat sheet for them here:
Appointments are the NORM
A lot of times I hear “I don’t have an appointment til’ 12 weeks” — but they’re feeling miserable, or having bleeding, etc.
Those appointments are scheduled for NORMAL stuff. Kind of like how you’ll schedule well-checks for your baby after birth. That doesn’t mean you don’t take them in if they’re sick too.
SO, if you’re having issues outside the scheduled appointments, call and ask to be seen! At the very least they can give you some tips, or advice on when you do need to be seen, etc.
Risks’s & Alternatives
One of the things I see them being the WORST at is providing alternatives and risks when presenting an option for a patient.
With the choices you make during birth (at least big ones, I’m not talking about getting a blood pressure at your prenatal appointments) — you should be provided with the :
- Risks
- Benefits
- Alternatives
In general, providers are great at providing benefits — but less so on risk and alternatives.
Frankly, a lot of patients don’t want to hear them, so they may get out of the habit of sharing them…
Let’s give an example:
Your provider is offering to strip your membranes at the end of your pregnancy. This is an entirely elective procedure. You might be saying that you are DONE being pregnant, and they will say “well, I could strip your membranes if you want”. BTW, more on membranes stripping << in that article.
They may say something along the lines — it may put you into labor if I do it.
BUT, are they saying the risks and alternatives too? If they’re not — you can ALWAYS ask.
In that case, the risks could be infection, possibly breaking your water, and pain with the procedure. The alternative might be a hospital induction or waiting.
In reality, none of us do this naturally – when you recommend something to a friend do you give them the risks and the benefits of it? BUT, you’d give them those if they asked, right?
The more we ask for more information, the more providers will give to everyone…. SO, if you’re curious — ask!
Of course, if you aren’t, you can go ahead with their recommendation too.
They Aren’t Enough
Providers sometimes act like they give all that you’ll need to prepare for your birth. Personally, I just don’t think that’s true. Those prenatal visits are so limited…. They don’t have time to tell you all about the hospital, and labor AND what’s going on specifically with you.
That’s why I recommend you take a prenatal class, so you get the basics in.
That way they can use the time to talk about what’s going on with YOU and how you can apply your basic knowledge to you, your pregnancy & birth.
You may be thinking — ONE MORE THING? I recommend The Online Prenatal Class for Couples:
- It can be done in just a few hours
- It’s a one-stop-shop for birth prep — it can include breastfeeding, baby care, sleep, partner tips & more!
- It’s created to do with your partner, to get you both on the same page!
Not sure we’re a good fit check out my free class — It’s your first step towards being your own birth boss.
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