Anxiety during Pregnancy with Cami Moss from Real Connections — PCP 044

Anxiety is something a lot of pregnant moms experience all of the time, but especially right now. Let’s talk about how normal it is and how to deal with it — especially if you’re parenting other humans.

Today’s guest, Cami Moss, is the hostess of The Real Connections Podcast — a podcast that helps YOU learn how to connect with your family, friends, and everyone in between. I’ve also seen a ton of great tips on her Instagram

Big thanks to our sponsor The Online Prenatal Class for Couples, one of the MOST important things you can do to get less anxious is to get prepared. Jump inside today (be sure to use the coupon code mentioned in the episode).

As mentioned in the podcast, I do have a free prenatal class that will get you started to learn about your upcoming delivery.

We’re talking about

• Anxiety is normal during pregnancy
• Extra anxiety during the Corona/Covid mess
• The things that are different during Corona/Covid with prenatal care
• How masks affect you/your care
• Ways to calm yourself down with your anxiety (without medication)
• How we can adapt

Other things that might interest you:

• What to do when you’re first pregnant (don’t delay prenatal care!)
• Hope during pregnancy
• Reasons to call labor and delivery
• Second Baby Checklist (just because it’s not your first, doesn’t mean that you can’t be anxious.
• Natural remedies for anxiety during pregnancy\
• My podcast on labor fears

Producer: Drew Erickson

Check out my other pregnancy podcasts:

Check out all my podcasts:

Hilary Erickson 0:00
Hey guys welcome back to the pulling curls podcast. Today we are talking about something that a lot of pregnant women are suffering with right now. And we’re going to talk about some ways to help it that do not involve liquor or pills. Let’s untangle it. Welcome to the pulling girls podcast where we untangle everything from pregnancy parenting, home routines, even some family travel because heavens knows our lives are tangled I’m your host Hilary Erickson. Okay guys, before we jump in the episode, let me remind you to leave me a review on your favorite podcast platform, jump into it, leave some stars leave some words, it really makes a difference and I appreciate that. Okay, so today’s guest is actually my cousin. She is the host of- or hostess- of the real connections podcast. She is actually a newly pregnant mama and I can’t be more happy to welcome Cami Moss. This episode of The pulling curls podcast is sponsored by the online prenatal class for couples. It simplifies understanding Labor so you can have a more relaxed pregnancy and birth taught by a highly experienced labor and delivery nurse and can be done wherever you are whenever you want. No more arranging busy schedules to fit in a prenatal class. Save 15% with a coupon code untangled. You can find out more at pulling curls calm and the menu under courses or in this episode show notes.

Hey Cami Welcome to the pulling curls podcast.

Cami Moss 1:23
Hi, Hilary. Thanks so much for having me on.

Hilary Erickson 1:26
Yeah, this is fun. So Cami and I are cousins. It’s fun to have family on.

Cami Moss 1:31
I know…

Hilary Erickson 1:32
Besides you, I think you’re my first family member. Okay, so Cami’s pregnant.

Cami Moss 1:38
Yeah.

Hilary Erickson 1:39
And so tell us a little bit. This is your fourth right? Yes. Tell us a little bit about like all your pregnancy journeys. Did you have like infertility or

Cami Moss 1:47
Yeah, so with my first pregnancy we did. We struggled with infertility for two and a half years. And so we were so excited to get our first and then every other the last two pregnancies and we’re just Really pretty easy to get pregnant, which surprised us. And then this one took a couple months but nothing crazy. So we honestly just feel really, really blessed that you just had the one thing I just couldn’t figure it out for a while.

Hilary Erickson 2:11
Yeah, it just needs a jumpstart. Yeah. Or it needed the right timing, right. Oh, yeah. I feel like life is like that. So if you’re in an infertility zone, take heart. Yep. Yeah. Okay, so what’s different about this one, you think as far as

Cami Moss 2:28
are you talking about? Like symptoms? Or like,

Hilary Erickson 2:31
are you more nervous?

Cami Moss 2:32
I am definitely more nervous COVID loop. My other pregnancies I definitely experienced anxiety like not crazy anxiety. Just I don’t know what is normal to what extent but I would lay in bed at night with every pregnancy and just be like, something’s gonna be wrong with this baby. I just know it. I really feel like something’s gonna go wrong with this baby. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And I know that worrying about it makes it worse. I’m trying not to worry, but it’s pretty coming out, but with this one, I usually experienced that later in my pregnancies like, after like the

Yeah, this is so exciting has kind of worn off and I’m just more like, oh man, the reality is like all the things that could go wrong. So but this time we got pregnant and then we were so excited. And it was like perfect. Like we talked about the timing, it was just perfect timing. And then about a week and a half, two weeks later, is when we found out about like the COVID like locked down and everything and I hadn’t really thought about it too much. Because before then I was like, Oh, I mean it sounds kind of scary, but I’m not really that concerned. But then when I put two and two together that like it’s COVID and I’m now in a high risk category that really just threw me because once we went into like lockdown, all I could think about for the next 14 days was was I exposed to something that like I’m just gonna get sick. So those first two weeks I just kind of get off my mind. I was going crazy, and even since then I just had I haven’t been nearly as anxious since then.

Because literally we don’t leave our house. So it’s like, I’m not super concerned. But when I knew I needed to go to my first appointment, which really should have been a long time ago, I just kept canceling my appointments. So I’d make an appointment. And then I’d freak out and cancel it because I was like, I can’t go to a doctor’s office right now. And so I think that kind of contributed. It just made it worse because then I was like, Well, I don’t even know if like, my baby has a heartbeat. And so I make another appointment and get kind of freaked out. But then I I finally pushed through and went to an appointment. And I think that really helped come in anxiety because I heard a heartbeat. I saw movement. And so and I was doing everything I could to be cautious, but yeah, it’s it’s definitely not gone. But I feel like it’s less than

Hilary Erickson 4:44
that. So good. Now, Could your husband go to your appointment? No. Yeah, so I have to say it is crazy because I definitely have lots of people messaging me and emailing me just about all the things that are different. It’s horrible like ultrasounds. They can’t come to You know, appointments? Yes, the good news is most hospitals are letting them in for delivery. And I think we’re getting to know more and more. So I think labor and delivery units are going to adjust is the good news. But that is hard. My heart breaks for those kind of missed opportunities. Well, yeah. And I think it was just too, it was the worry, right that I wasn’t going to hear a heartbeat and then I was going to be alone.

And like a stale doctor’s office and you already feel like you’re going into like a labyrinth because they have like three people check pointing you all along the way to like, are you sure you have an appointment? Have you been felt like sniffily or anything? I don’t think so. Like, I think I’m fine. But everyone’s massive being they’re all trying to keep our distance. But yeah, it’s just been a totally different experience. For sure. Yeah. And I think I bet there’s a lot of people out there saying, Yeah, me too, because I think a lot of people got pregnant before they thought this was gonna be a thing. And now it’s a thing and they aren’t sure how long it’s gonna last and they don’t know. Yeah, what’s going No.

Cami Moss 6:00
And I think that was part that’s part of the anxiety to at the very beginning was the unknown of how long is this going to go on for and if I have to be like quarantine through like June or July, and then I’m do like in October, like I have like two months and then I basically have to go back and hunker down for the winter. So it is not like, Oh, my whole life for like a year is kind of like getting to be in my house. And so I just really had, I’ve had to really deal with those thoughts and be like, no, we’re not going to kill. They’re just gonna take it one day at a time. We don’t know. Like, it could be way better than that. We just don’t know.

Hilary Erickson 6:34
Yeah. I love that because it has to be one day at a time right now, right? Yes. I was complaining about things being canceled at the end of the school year and my friend who has cancer came on and she was like, once I had my cancer diagnosis, I realized how little calendars meant anymore. Everything got wiped off of my calendar. And every day I had just grateful that I can do the one thing that day I was like, Well, now I feel bad. Yeah, like it’s just such a reminder of that, but who knows what Mike I’m sorry. into my calendar to

Cami Moss 7:01
yeah well I think I was too i mean i right before everything happened like I was getting ready to launch our products for business I was in the middle of my podcast I was just in the middle of a lot of things where I was just go go go getting my business license and everything and then it just stopped and I think that threw me for a huge loop for sure just like everybody else but I think with the whole pregnancy thing and like worrying about another person’s life I think that that has weighed on where it’s like fine if I get sick but like all the question marks around well we really don’t know we don’t have research for what it does long term to a baby has just been like so heavy on me that I feel like I’m not just responsible for this little baby like I normally am Miss pregnant but now I’m responsible for like, if I get sick,

Hilary Erickson 7:48
I could totally like really mess up their whole life. I don’t know your mind just goes down the rabbit hole. For sure. Plus cameo is a nurse so we love to wrap a whole nurses love to think of it Everything we’ve ever found that was mildly bad. Yeah. I don’t know that it’s helpful that I helped people die. The doors, you know, but yeah, well, okay, just to assuage some people’s fears, having a high fever, especially early in pregnancy is an awesome so you’d want to make sure that you’re hydrated and Tylenol, but kind of second trimester you’re kind of in a good zone where they aren’t finding that people will get super sick or that they’re really high risk. And then you know, as you get closer to delivery, then we just pull the baby out. So there you go. Yeah.

Cami Moss 8:35
I do think that that is good. It’s like, I think that that is the killer for someone who’s pregnant. It’s like, you know, enough but you to freak you out, but you don’t know enough to like calm your fears. So you’re just in this like, crazy place. So it’s like good to talk to a nurse or no, because a lot of people think just because I’m a nurse, you get it, but it’s like I’m a nurse in a totally different area than Hillary’s in person. And so it’s totally different. And again, I think it can put you in that creeped out zone.

Hilary Erickson 9:03
Yeah. Well, I will say that even in labor and delivery stuff is changing all the time. They’re changing how they’re treating it. They’re changing what we look for all those kinds of things. So, you know, we have lots of research and things that we’re seeing. And so, you know, the good news is that by the time you have your baby, we’re going to have a lot of research and experience with this. So that’s the good news right now. So yeah, right, for sure. Yeah. So what have you done anything that’s helped make it better?

Cami Moss 9:29
Yeah. So I’ve been finding things that have really been helpful. And I think the number one thing on my list has been talking to women that have been pregnant, and understand and can validate because I think as much as your husband, or at least my husband wants to validate and be there, like he doesn’t understand just even like normal pregnancy worries or anxiety, it’s like, well, that’s probably not going to happen. So are you worrying about it, but at the end of the day, they don’t have the baby inside of them. They’re not the one that’s like eating the certain things or worrying and worrying about their stress levels and All those things. And so I found that when I talk to women who’ve been pregnant and that are close to me that they’re like, Oh my gosh, I totally really like I would do the exact same way I would be totally freaked out. And so I think just knowing that you’re not a crazy person is really nice to know. So talking has been helpful.

Another thing that I found I really enjoy doing is meditating, especially because the anxiety has gotten to a point where I don’t know if it’s pregnancy symptoms and anxiety probably a little bit, but I have had such crazy insomnia and my mind just races about all the things that could go wrong. So I really especially like to meditate at night to be able to go to sleep and just listen to like a five or 10 minute guided meditation, which is really, really helpful. Just be quiet, because I think it puts you in the present and anxieties all about the future. And so that’s been helpful. Another thing that I found is music. When I find myself spiraling out and going to a place of anxiety I found that music especially interestingly enough, like isn’t nostalgic music from like movies. These that I’ve loved is like a kid or watching with my family like really brings back like a flood of emotion that’s positive.

And so I think in those moments, I really am just like I need to escape what I feel is impending doom. And it does it really quickly until I can kind of calm my mind and get to a place where I can either meditate or just calm myself down. And then another thing that oh, I think funny movie clips or just something funny, that can just kind of relieve the tension. So I have like some go to movies, things that kind of constantly play in my mind as my go twos that are kind of there for me to pull from. And for me, that’s just really helpful to lighten the gravity of the situation because sometimes I think it does feel so serious like you do this or like your baby is going to have all these problems or you’re going to get this or like the news is just so fear based. And so to get your head out of that I think is helpful. I’ve also been trying to be very active About what I take in from the news until I check it all the time, or like I needed to, I’m just more conscious of the media, I’m trying to consume being aware but not like so aware that I’m more afraid. And then the last thing is that work. I work a lot with like a life coach.

And so I just really had to wrap my mind around new thoughts, like some of my go twos are, things are going to turn out the exact way that they’re supposed to, whatever that means. I’m doing my part. And However, those is how it’s supposed to go. The other one I go to is I can handle whatever comes. So whatever is gonna happen and whatever does happen, I can handle it, and I’ll be fine. And my baby will be fine. Whatever the outcome, it will be. Okay, so I think just running those and having just a bunch of things in my toolbox that I’ve realized are helpful and that help at different moments has just really been good.

Hilary Erickson 12:51
Yeah, that’s awesome. So I will say that most of my patients are super anxious in the hospital. I just think people come in with ECT, more anxious than they would be Normally, I mean, most of them are a little bit anxious either way. Yeah. But they’re just more anxious. It’s weird to have people at Mass. That’s not how you envisioned it. And I personally, like try to pull down my mask and be like, this is what my face looks like, because I think we’re in such an intimate, like relationship and they have no idea what I look like. It’s just weird. I do see them because they pull their mask down to eat or kiss the baby or whatever, but they never they would never see otherwise. So

Cami Moss 13:23
yeah, yeah. And I, I’m so glad that you pointed that out, because I think it has, like, I noticed that when I went into the clinic, it’s interesting how it is affecting everybody. I think that so many people are stressed out about it, the master super uncomfortable, clearly, like you can’t even breathe, you feel like you can’t. And so like, the front desk was way more snippy with me than like they ever have been. But I think it’s like the, it’s the stress levels, and it’s the impersonal ness like we can’t even see each other’s faces. And so I’ve just noticed, like, I need to be able to like give them grace and I need to be able to give myself grace, and just really We’re all like we’re all stressed out about stress.

Hilary Erickson 14:04
Yeah, I think that’s important too, because especially in the first few weeks, I feel like it’s gotten started to get better in the hospital. But those first few weeks, it was just pure torture the whole 12 hours, because you just didn’t know what to expect. You didn’t know what people were bringing in. So nerve wracking? Yeah, I think I was thinking is you can’t take pills when you’re pregnant. And I’ve definitely had a lot of patients who took anxiety pills up until pregnancy. And then yeah, so I love that you’re doing affirmations and meditations, I think that’s so important. And then you can even bring those to labor. You know, when you’re in pain and stuff like that. Those are just good skills and resources to have for sure.

Cami Moss 14:38
Yeah, because I think all of those things are not something that I’m taking internally, because there have been times that I do want to but again, I think for me, it’s increasing anxiety because my friends are like, Oh, you can take these sleeping pills, but for me, I’m just like, I’ve got enough crazy going on. I don’t want to introduce anything else like make me anxious. So it is nice to just be like I don’t need to rely on something. I I just can have all these tools that I need with me whenever I need them.

Hilary Erickson 15:03
Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, Cami things are gonna turn out fine.

Cami Moss 15:08
Yes and I’m finally I think seeing I’m seeing that bright side and seeing like that light like it really is going to be okay. Whatever the outcome I think too I’ve been able to see my adaptability to the situation and just like humans ability to adapt to the situation like it’s uncomfortable and it’s weird, but we adapt. And so whatever the outcome whatever happens, like we as humans can adapt to those situations and it’s okay.

Hilary Erickson 15:32
Yeah, it’s not just okay. It’s amazing how we’re able to adapt, right? Yes, like what if we stuck mass on all the animals? Would they adapt? Probably not as true right? I mean, even at work I keep shoving my straw into my mask thinking I’ll just drink because I forget it’s on. That’s I’m adapt better than others. That’s true. I don’t know that I can imagine myself getting used to the mass but get free. hours in and you’re tired and hungry. You just like it. Your mask. Well, thanks for coming on Cammy I’m so grateful you came in and talked with us because I think it’s important for people to realize that other people are in this boat too. And I think that helps everyone else feel a little more comfortable in the anxieties that their normal, normal, normal anxieties that they’re feeling. Yeah.

Cami Moss 16:18
Well, thank you so much for having me on it. I think it is really important for people to know that they’re not alone.

Hilary Erickson 16:22
No, you are not alone. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Cami. Thanks so much. Okay, guys, I hope you really liked that episode. I mostly wanted to have her on because she’s so open about feelings and things that she has had in her life. And I love that about her. And I think a lot of people are afraid to say how anxious they are at this point in time because they want to act like they’re strong and capable. But it is a very anxious time I see it in your eyes in the hospital. I read it in your emails or your direct messages. So I’m just excited that we were able to talk about it today. If you’re interested in something that might help you out. I do have a free beginning prenatal class that I will leave the link to in the show notes. It can really help you out. It talks about third trimester testing things to come into the hospital for we even talked about postpartum so it’s just a great way to kind of get your feet wet in your pregnancy learning.

If you’d like to know more about anxiety in pregnancy I actually have a post about how hope will pave the way is the name of the post and I will drop a link in the show notes. It kind of inspired today’s episode Big thanks to our sponsor, the online prenatal class for couples. If you are looking for a less anxious delivery, it is your touch point for sure. We’re going to talk about everything you’re going to need to know about being in the hospital. You can ask me questions in it. It is awesome. And of course Big thanks to my cousin Cami moss for coming on. You guys definitely need to check out her podcast real connection. She just has a way of talking with guests about the things that they’re feeling and maintaining connections with the people that are in your life, which I think we are all realizing is so important as I’m recording this in the middle of COVID crisis Miss. If you like today’s episode, we’d love it. If you would share, subscribe and review. It really makes a difference. We drop an episode every Monday and until then I hope you have a tangle free day!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai