Your Kids Aren’t Who You Think They Are with My Mom — Episode 128

Today my mom’s coming on to tell you how she thought I was going to be as a kid, but then became who I am now. 🙂

Today’s guest is my mom.

Big thanks to our sponsor Family Routines the ONE thing that helped me get organized was routines, and realizing that routines were MY way to be organized!

In this episode

I was super shy as a kid.

I was extremely messy as a kid.

I was moody as a kid.

I failed a lot.

Producer: Drew Erickson

Check out my other parenting podcasts:

Transcript

[00:00:00.130] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys, welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast. Today on Episode 128, we are talking about how your kids, when they’re little, aren’t the same person that they’re going to be when they grow up. So let’s untangle it.

[00:00:21.870] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast, where we untangle pregnancy, parenting, home and even travel. We know there’s no right answer for every family, but hopefully we can spark some ideas that will work for yours. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.

[00:00:44.650] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, guys, before we get started, remember, you can always subscribe. A lot of people come and see this on my blog or other websites, and they forget to subscribe. So jump into your favorite podcast player, subscribe and extra credit if you leave a review and who doesn’t want extra credit?

[00:00:58.970] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, today’s guest knows me better than probably anyone else in the world. I lived inside of her of her nine months, and then I lived in her house for 18 years. And, yeah, I want to introduce my guest, my mom, Carolyn Pope.

[00:01:18.470] – Hilary Erickson

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[00:01:55.950] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, mom, welcome to the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:01:58.510] – Carolyn Pope

Hello, Hilary.

[00:02:00.390] – Hilary Erickson

Guys, it’s scary to have your mom on your podcast. I’m trying to decide which is worse having Connor on or you. These are rough our choices.

[00:02:08.930] – Carolyn Pope

I say, Connor.

[00:02:09.670] – Hilary Erickson

Okay. He’s a little bit more of a wild card. True. Yeah, I probably have messed up his life more than I’ve messed up yours. While hard to say you made the choice, though, to have me. All right, so the reason I wanted to have my mom on is I think we think things as I have a kid who goes to College again next year. Second kid going to College and you kind of look at him and you’re like, great. I have a kid who’s never going to learn how to Cook or is never going to be able to get up on his own or things like that.

[00:02:42.180] – Hilary Erickson

And there were certain things, qualities that maybe I had as a child that I grew out of, and I thought it might be fun to have my mom come on and tell me about those qualities so I could realize that there’s hope for my kids in their future as well.

[00:02:54.130] – Carolyn Pope

There’s always hope.

[00:02:55.830] – Hilary Erickson

There’s always hope.

[00:02:57.540] – Carolyn Pope

Always hope. Okay.

[00:02:59.110] – Hilary Erickson

So what’s the quality I had as a kid that I don’t have anymore?

[00:03:02.020] – Carolyn Pope

The one quality that I always talk to people about is that you were so shy and no one believes when you were growing up. No one believes that no one ever buys this story. That when we would talk to somebody and it was somebody’s mother that you knew very well. You at their house and other things like that. And you would hide behind me and say, Just tell her mom. Just tell her what I do and you wouldn’t talk to anyone.

[00:03:28.750] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. I was extremely shy as a kid and well into high school.

[00:03:33.550] – Carolyn Pope

Well, I think that by the time you got into junior high, things took, oddly enough, things took a very good change for the better. But by the time you got to high school, you were good.

[00:03:46.070] – Hilary Erickson

I was okay, because I will say that when I started labor and delivery, one of the main complaints is that I wasn’t bold enough.

[00:03:52.190] – Carolyn Pope

That is hard to believe.

[00:03:53.970] – Hilary Erickson

Well, I mean, labor and delivery is a really bold job.

[00:03:57.250] – Carolyn Pope

Yes, I agree.

[00:03:58.730] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. And probably most new labor and delivery nurses are bold enough. But yeah, I’m sure I got less shy working as a nurse because you have to.

[00:04:07.480] – Carolyn Pope

You have to.

[00:04:08.270] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, definitely grew out of that. And I’m so glad you said that, because all my friends are like, your mom’s just lying. That’s too bad that your mom would lie.

[00:04:16.230] – Carolyn Pope

Your mother doesn’t usually lie. That’s certainly not about that one.

[00:04:19.540] – Hilary Erickson

And not on a podcast. Nobody lies on podcasts.

[00:04:22.720] – Carolyn Pope

No. Okay.

[00:04:23.530] – Hilary Erickson

What’s another quality that I grew out of when you were little.

[00:04:27.310] – Carolyn Pope

We couldn’t find your floor. That didn’t mean you didn’t have one. It was just that there was so much stuff on your floor that we couldn’t find that your clothes, your toys. We tried to give you more shelves and give you more stuff to put it in. And yet they were all over the floor. And then when you I think it was probably when you moved to College. The dorms don’t have a lot of space for throwing on the floor. So I think you started to clean up then and now.

[00:04:55.320] – Carolyn Pope

Here you are. Little Ms. Organization.

[00:04:57.060] – Hilary Erickson

I know. I was just at your house organizing last week.

[00:04:59.980] – Carolyn Pope

That’s right.

[00:05:00.940] – Hilary Erickson

Did you ever think that would happen, that someday I would be the one?

[00:05:04.210] – Carolyn Pope

Yes, you did.

[00:05:07.050] – Hilary Erickson

Even when 13 year old Hillary was just like.

[00:05:09.250] – Carolyn Pope

Whatever mom, I too, was very messy. But I was messy because I knew my mother would clean it up. You were messy. I don’t know why you were messy, but I know that I was messy because of that.

[00:05:21.970] – Hilary Erickson

I’m sure that some of it was being rebellious. But if you have to pick the ways that your kids are going to rebel, that’s a pretty great. I would pick that one for sure.

[00:05:32.130] – Carolyn Pope

That’s good to know.

[00:05:34.290] – Hilary Erickson

The main question is, are they going to just be lost the whole rest of their life? Right? Are they never going to be able to find their car keys? Are they those type of things?

[00:05:42.220] – Carolyn Pope

I always thought you would because I had done that.

[00:05:45.950] – Hilary Erickson

Well, maybe it’s genetic because Paige’s room is a disaster.

[00:05:49.690] – Carolyn Pope

Okay. It’s a thing I got handed down. Sorry about that, Paige.

[00:05:53.420] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, but I don’t clean it up. You never cleaned up my room. And then I do think also, I had less stuff because you go to College and you really simplify like the ten outfits you need, because that’s all you can fit in here.

[00:06:03.360] – Carolyn Pope

That’s all you can fit in that tiny closet.

[00:06:06.060] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, I think some simplifying probably helped, too. I think maybe I got super overwhelmed because I think that’s my daughter’s issue. Is that just the idea of even starting? It’s really overwhelming to her.

[00:06:19.020] – Carolyn Pope

The idea of starting is overwhelming.

[00:06:20.940] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, especially with the Littler you are. So life goes on.

[00:06:25.120] – Carolyn Pope

Okay.

[00:06:25.550] – Hilary Erickson

Any other quality I had as a kid that I don’t have?

[00:06:27.800] – Carolyn Pope

Now, you, as a child were very Moody. And you how many times do we remember throwing? Well, not really throwing, but knocking over the bar stools because you’re upset about something and heading down all the way down the hall to your room.

[00:06:43.300] – Hilary Erickson

I mean, to be fair, a lot of times that was about calculus, and I believe that was well intentioned. It was necessary. I still love to Slam a door. Feels so good.

[00:06:54.450] – Carolyn Pope

But there was that time that your calculus, wasn’t it your calculus teacher who called the house as we were talking about the class? No, it was algebra, algebra.

[00:07:03.090] – Hilary Erickson

He’s a good guy. I don’t even remember his name, but he was a good guy.

[00:07:05.820] – Carolyn Pope

He was. He was a good teacher.

[00:07:07.440] – Hilary Erickson

Do you think I was Moodier than other kids, but you had a son and a daughter.

[00:07:10.230] – Carolyn Pope

So you don’t know.

[00:07:10.870] – Hilary Erickson

Maybe if you’d had another daughter, that’s just how all daughters are.

[00:07:13.840] – Carolyn Pope

People say that the daughters are more Moody. They do say those words.

[00:07:19.410] – Hilary Erickson

I don’t know where I fall on that. I’m just going to keep my thoughts quiet. I guess. I think they’re louder Moody. They let you know more Moody, maybe than the boys. Yeah. So was there anything like my experience?

[00:07:30.980] – Carolyn Pope

Is that boys sort of get upset at each other and take the ball out and try to talk each other at the basketball court or something like that? Girls don’t do that.

[00:07:42.540] – Hilary Erickson

Oh, no. They play smash brothers. That’s what my boys do.

[00:07:45.580] – Carolyn Pope

That’s what your boys do.

[00:07:47.280] – Hilary Erickson

There’s never been a battle fought on our basketball court.

[00:07:50.830] – Carolyn Pope

Okay.

[00:07:51.370] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. Is there anything you found when I was moving out that you were like, this is going to be a problem for the rest of her life that didn’t really come to fruition.

[00:07:59.070] – Carolyn Pope

No, I’m sorry on that. I just felt like having a party when I moved out. You had a party. Remember when we talked about this, that I would have a party and you’d have a party. They’d just be different parties.

[00:08:10.710] – Hilary Erickson

That’s how it should be, right.

[00:08:14.850] – Carolyn Pope

I was happy you were happy you were going. And I think it’s important that people that children get to leave home.

[00:08:23.650] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. A lot of people are surprised because our son went to the College in our town, just like I went to the College in our town, and they’re like, oh, and he’s staying at the dorms. And I’m like, yeah, I could walk home from my dorms. I mean, it would have been a long uphill walk. That wouldn’t have been very fun. I think I did walk home once or twice for my apartment. Connor probably could not walk home. I mean, he could, like, if he wanted to be a pioneer, but he may be just as close as I was now, but it’s so good to have them move out.

[00:08:53.950] – Hilary Erickson

So, yeah, the next one will be moving out, too.

[00:08:56.300] – Carolyn Pope

I think there’s nothing like having that experience of moving out and dealing with all the things that you get to deal with, and you’re still close enough. You don’t have to be the adult yet. If things are falling apart, you’ve got a parent.

[00:09:12.380] – Hilary Erickson

You think you’re the adult, though, like, you’ve got it 100% under control until you get in a car accident or something happens. So there is a definite benefit to that.

[00:09:23.210] – Carolyn Pope

Okay.

[00:09:23.520] – Hilary Erickson

Anything else that you thought I was just going to be an abject failure at podcasting.

[00:09:28.570] – Carolyn Pope

We never imagined podcasting. Let me tell you, I think that you had a lot of I don’t know if you want me to tell this you had a lot of failures as a little girl in school. That shouldn’t have been. And by the time you learned how to handle your stuff, that helped you in so many ways that when I look back, it has helped you a lot in being the adult.

[00:09:56.520] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, I will say I’ve never had any of my teacher- my kids teachers say that my kids were just never going to be good at XYZ. And maybe that’s because teachers now are smart enough that they just don’t say stuff like that. But my third grade teacher said I was never going to be good at math. I wanted to mail her my AP calculus results and just be like, Take that named teacher. Take that. Yeah.

[00:10:20.290] – Carolyn Pope

Sometimes. And maybe it was that you got knocked down so many times that you learned how to stand up. I don’t know. But when you finished, by the time you graduated high school, I thought you were going to do well.

[00:10:33.300] – Hilary Erickson

Did you think that I would run a media Empire?

[00:10:36.490] – Carolyn Pope

No.

[00:10:37.690] – Hilary Erickson

Although when I graduated from nursing school, they were like, what is your dream job? And I was like, Well, it’s not being a nurse. My dream job was to write on Er.

[00:10:47.870] – Carolyn Pope

Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that.

[00:10:50.650] – Hilary Erickson

Still waiting for that call. I would honestly write for any. So if you have any connection to uh, the good Doctor or New Amsterdam or the resident, I would come executive produce for any of those shows if they had a labor episode.

[00:11:06.250] – Carolyn Pope

I don’t have any connections to any of those shows.

[00:11:08.980] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, maybe some listener does, though.

[00:11:10.840] – Carolyn Pope

Maybe some of your listeners do.

[00:11:12.950] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah. All right, mom. Well, you were a great mom. You made it through this one. So good thing I moved so far away.

[00:11:19.010] – Carolyn Pope

Well, we made it through. And you produced three wonderful children and a good husband. So we’re happy.

[00:11:25.530] – Hilary Erickson

I did not produce the husband just so you guys know.

[00:11:28.340] – Carolyn Pope

But you brought him along.

[00:11:30.210] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah, that’s true. He’s a goodie. He’s also the producer of the podcast.

[00:11:34.330] – Carolyn Pope

He is the producer, so we don’t know.

[00:11:36.700] – Hilary Erickson

Yeah.

[00:11:36.950] – Carolyn Pope

All right.

[00:11:37.250] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks for coming on, mom.

[00:11:38.360] – Carolyn Pope

You’re welcome. And we’ll see you later.

[00:11:40.400] – Hilary Erickson

Okay, guys, I hope you enjoyed that, because sometimes when I look at my kids, I just think we are all in big trouble, like there. I don’t know. Maybe I’m the only person that gets this feeling, but you’re like, I have one that cooking is not a spiritual gift. And so I’m worried about him being able to feed himself when he leaves my house. And it’s helpful to know that there were things that I did when I was younger, that I don’t move now. So I hope you guys enjoyed that. And thanks so much to my mom for coming on.

[00:12:06.470] – Hilary Erickson

Do not miss… Actually, in two weeks, I have my dad coming on the podcast because I just thought it would be really fun to have my parents on the podcast. Hopefully, you guys are enjoying it. And in one week, one of my favorite students from the prenatal class for couples is coming on. She had unexpected complications with her pregnancy, so I think you guys can learn a lot from her, too. So don’t miss those.

[00:12:23.610] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. We know you have lots options for your ears, and we are glad that you chose us. We drop episodes weekly. And until next time, we hope you have a tangle free day.