My Christmas Gift to Myself — Episode 171

This year I am giving myself a gift that I think will only help me more as we go into 2023.

In this episode

The Gap vs the Gain Book

Producer: Drew Erickson

Transcript

[00:00:00.090] – Hilary Erickson

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Pulling Curls Podcast.

[00:00:01.900] – Hilary Erickson

Today on episode 171, it’s the Holiday episode. Let’s untangle it.

[00:00:21.170] – Hilary Erickson

Hi, I’m Hilary Erickson, the curly head behind the Pulling Curls Podcast: pregnancy and parenting untangled. There’s no right answer for every family, but on this show, we hope to give you some ideas to make life simpler at your house. Life’s tangled, just like my hair.

[00:00:42.830] – Hilary Erickson

This is the gift I’m giving myself this year. And it sounds crazy because it is not a new pair of shoes or washi tape. I love shoes and washi tape quite a lot, but I feel like this could be even better. And I tried it out over Thanksgiving. I had really good results, and that is to learn to be content. I need to lower my expectations and I need to see more of the good. Like, those are my two goals for next year and I’m starting them now. I’m not like, starting them later because I need to lower expectations, like across the board. I need to lower expectations with my kids. I need to expect less of them and I need to be wowed by whatever they do more. I need to lower expectations with my business. Like, December is always a hard time of year for me because people aren’t searching a whole lot about pregnancy and organization because they’re so busy doing Christmas, which I totally love and I totally agree with. Why can’t I lower my expectations in December and just be like, it’s a low time of the year. Just let it go.

[00:01:36.930] – Hilary Erickson

That I can’t and nor can I ever see the gains that I am making, the small gains that I make even when it is a low time of the year. And honestly, in every facet of my life, I need to be more content. This includes losing weight, the friends that I have, spirituality. I expect way too much of all of those things and I never, I repeat, never see the small gain. Now, I am on social media a fair amount. I pretend like it’s my job. I mean, it is my job. But the problem is you post your thing and then you’re on social media. And I have to tell you that a lot of the social media platforms literally make all of their money off of breeding ill content. I’m upset with what my airline did for me. I’m upset with my kids. I’m upset with my daughter in law. I’m upset with my mother in law. Probably 30% of the videos that I see is someone complaining about something. Now, that isn’t to say that we can’t complain. And that isn’t to say that it is valuable to hear other people’s experience. Because I think it’s super important, especially like postpartum in my world, right?

[00:02:36.480] – Hilary Erickson

For people to be really honest about what postpartum was like for them, and to also say this needs to be your expectation is that things are not going to go so great those first six to twelve weeks, right? Lower the expectations. Notice the gains, especially postpartum. You are having great gains. You’re bleeding less, your baby is eating better, all these things are getting better. There are gains. Can you be content with the gains that you’re having? Right? In fact, I’m just reading a book right now called The Gap versus the Gains. My friend Bonnie mentioned it to me and I am loving it. So if this is something that speaks to your heart, I would go ahead and check out that book. I think it was less than $10 for Kindle on Amazon. I will try and link it in the show notes. So what on earth does this have to do with Christmas? Honestly, I don’t need very much this year. I have made an Amazon wishlist for my family to purchase from, but there just really isn’t a whole lot of need. But this is something I desperately need because all I can see around me is things that are going wrong when in reality so many things are going right in my life.

[00:03:34.520] – Hilary Erickson

And like I said, I practiced this over Thanksgiving and it was probably the best Thanksgiving I’ve had in years. I wasn’t thinking about being homesick, although I wouldn’t say that I’m homesick. I think I’m more nostalgic for how life used to be when I was little. Maybe because the family, like if I went back to Utah for Thanksgiving, it wouldn’t look the same as it did when I was little, right? And so I’m always thinking of the big family gatherings that we would have with my grandmas and everyone was laughing and all those kinds of fun things. It would just be different because that’s how life is, right? Instead, I was being really content with what I have. I was content with when the kids showed up. I was content with what game they wanted to play. I was content with what food we were able to manage to make right being content. And I had such a fun day. That being said, we played Settlers of Catan and I was not content. Like, I was out for blood. I came in second place only because my oldest had an amazing dice roll at the very end of the game.

[00:04:29.990] – Hilary Erickson

Otherwise I would have won anyway. When I think about, if you guys don’t know, I’m Christian, I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And when you think about Christ’s birth, there are so many things that you could think are wrong. Right? She had to ride on a donkey for days before having a baby. I would lose my mind. She was in the dirt. She didn’t have anyone around her that she knew. She probably barely knew Joseph, all things considered at this point in time. Didn’t have the things that she wanted to have around for her baby. But it still worked out fine. It was exactly how it was supposed to be. I would love to have a book of scripture from Mary’s point of view and I would love to know if she was like a little spicy about it. That would be very interesting. So I’m trying to not ruin the holidays with my expectations. That is my plan. I’m also going to try and not ruin 2023 with my expectations and I am going to notice the small games that I have because over time, those small games may add up, they may not, but everything’s pretty dandy, right?

[00:05:28.390] – Hilary Erickson

Anyway, if this speaks to you, come find me over on Instagram and tell me about it. I think this week on social media I’m going to try to do some because I think of myself as a well, I think of myself first as a prenatal educator, but sometimes I think of myself as a content marketer because I write stuff to market things, right. Or I’m on Instagram to market things. But I was thinking that content and content, are they spelled the same way? Also spelling something, I think, but they’re pretty close. So wouldn’t it be amazing if we were content marketers? Because no one wants to hear these. If we got on and were like, hey, my family all got along for Thanksgiving. It was amazing. How many views would that get on TikTok? Hey, I went on a flight and the people next to me talked to me just like just the appropriate amount. They weren’t super rude. We said, hello, pleasantries. Are you coming or going? Left it. Everyone was kind. Our flight was actually a little early, right? Can we just be more content? I would love it. I would love it. I would love it.

[00:06:22.240] – Hilary Erickson

Actually, I would love it if you would post a reel about something you were content about this week and tag me in it. That would be amazing. Anyway, happy holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Whatever you celebrate, I hope you have the most amazing time. I’m actually recording this right before my middle one comes home for Christmas from college. So really going to work on being content. It’s going to be the best holidays ever. I hope you guys have the best holidays ever and we will see you guys in 2023. Does anybody remember in elementary school when you’d be like, see you next year? See you next year!

[00:06:51.250] – Hilary Erickson

Thanks so much for joining us on today’s episode. The Pulling Curls Podcast grows when you share us on social media or leave a review. If you do, please tag us so that we can share and send you a virtual hug, which frankly is my favorite kind of hugging. Until next time, we hope you’ve have a tangle free day.