Prayer for things you can change.

I had always envisioned prayer for things that were entirely out of human control.  I remember when my best friend’s dad got cancer.  We were maybe 10.  I remember he died the night that the rest of us were at a slumber party.

We had prayed and fasted and I was devastated.

Prayer obviously “didn’t work”.  I slowly worked through the fact that sometimes things are just meant to happen.  I also saw something that would completely make my friend’s life end, become a footnote in her everyday life.  It went on, and I saw how strong she became because of it.

Fast forward 25 years and I had a devastating life change that left me just mad.

Really, really mad.

And I tried to let it go.

I wanted to be like Elsa — to shatter my ice castle and move on, but I couldn’t.

What happened

My husband had been a music teacher for over 10 years but had finally come to an impasse with the school we had changed our entire life for about 5 years earlier.  The parents were horrible.

And when I say horrible, I mean that one time they came up to tell me all the things he had done wrong.

The day they did that I knew that we weren’t dealing with normal humans, these people were whiners.

At the end of that year, he decided he needed to leave.  It was just not a good fit anymore and I was devastated.

I couldn’t believe that we had up and moved and then it was so very wrong.

But, my son still went to the school.

So, I was constantly there, I had to see those parents, the principal and deal with those emotions on a weekly basis.

The first concert we went to I felt like I had a cancer in my body.

I had never had emotions like this that I was having to deal with.  I needed to support my son, still be there and yet not be eaten up inside by how mad I was.

I kept trying to change myself.

And after a while, I knew this wasn’t something I could do on my own.

My emotions were too big for me.  

So I started to pray

I started to pray — to ask God and Jesus Christ to take away these feelings.

I’ll admit I was disappointed with the initial results.  I had always heard that {magical snap} the atonement could take the feelings away.

But, they were still there.  However, they were slowly getting smaller.

It took a lot of time and a lot of prayers and a lot of realization that they hadn’t ruined my life.

I had always envisioned using prayer in something you couldn’t change — something you NEEDED God to change.  Things like jobs, finding a home or even cancer.

But sometimes you have to pray for help with things that you can change.  Small things like changes in your heart, your mind, and your soul.

My promise

And I promise you that if you have faith that God can help you, if you pray for it and you’re willing to give it some time –those changes can happen.

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