Today I really want to boil down what you (or, you and partner, if you’re lucky enough to have someone on this crazy journey with you) should be doing to prepare for labor. Yes, there’s a carseat, stroller, onesies — but what are you actually doing to prepare for labor?
How do I know so much about labor? Hello, I’m Hilary. A lot of you may know me as The Pregnancy Nurse®. I’ve been a nurse since 1997 and I have 20 years of labor and delivery experience. I have seen a lot of couples woefully prepared for labor, and I am here to help you fix that.
Of course, if you’re thinking — but I also need stuff for the baby (which is also very valid) I have a baby necessities checklist right here:
There are a few things the person giving birth can specifically do to prepare their body << I just wrote a super helpful post on that too, so don’t miss it!
Learn To Ask Questions
We spend our entire school life asking questions, but somehow we get into a healthcare setting and we seem to do a variety of things:
- We literally have no idea what they’re talking about and we don’t want to feel dumb.
- We figure they just know best and who are we to question
- We feel like a little kid and suddenly our normal proficient brain shuts off.
So, I encourage you ask question at your prenatal appointments. If you’re not doing this already, you can start now — no matter how many weeks you are.
If you’re thinking — I’m not even sure what to ask, Hilary? — let me give you a few to base your questions off of:
- What prenatal vitamin do you recommend? Honestly, they may not have one they love — but this is an easy one to start with. You might even get some good ideas of where to purchase a good one near you.
- What kind of testing do I have coming up? Again — you will feel very prepared as you learn you’ll have your glucose test soon, and GBS testing after that. This is a very valid question (as they may require a little time off work, etc).
- Am I still considered low-risk or are is there anything concerning you? I think a lot of people think they’re low-risk, only to find out that they actually have some high risk things like their age, weight, or blood pressures.
Let me be the one to tell you that it is AOK to ask things like:
- What is this testing for? Be it lab work, or an NST you want to know why you’re having it done, maybe a bit about how it works — but if you’re smart tip #3 in here will prepare you so well!
- Do we need to do this right now? I mean, some of them you do need to do it then (like glucose testing, etc) — but sometimes things can wait based off what you want.
Asking questions, especially in the calm of prenatal appointments prepares you to ask the BIG things in labor. You’ll build a rapport with your provider and you will remind your brain that you are in charge of your birth. Not anyone else.
Looking for more info on your provider — be sure to check out these posts:
- Tips To Saying No To Your Provider
- 6 Things Your Provider Does at Prenatal Appointments that Are Important
- 4 Things You Can Do to Prepare Your Cervix for Labor
- YOUR Birth Priorities: How to make them clear
Get On the Same Page
I mean you and your partner. So often I would ask couples simple things like:
- Who’s going to come to your birth?
- Where will baby be sleeping?
- Dad, you need to know how to diaper this baby too, right?
And I’d get looks showing that they were each thinking something very different.
For instance, sometimes your partner may think that if your mom is coming, theirs’s is coming too. Maybe they envision baby in a crib in the nursery from day one, but you already know they recommend baby be in your room (in their own safe sleep space) until 6 months.
You may also be thinking that you’ll share duties for this baby 50/50 — when they think you’ll continue to take care of this baby on the outside, like you have while it was inside.
One of the BIG ones I really recommend couples both know about are the postpartum warning signs.
It’s far too easy to be focused on that baby (especially mom) and ignore any warning signs for mom (who just had a big medical even of her own). I have a presentation that goes through them:
Also, I have good news that this helps with getting on the same page of your partner — more on this with the next tip!
Take a Birth Class
I think we get very used to the idea that your provider will prepare you for anything you need to know, but labor is a BIG event — not to mention raising that baby and living your life afterwards…
I get it, when my appendix perforated, I had not taken a class (although I do wish I was more prepared).
But you — you have time to get prepared! That is the beauty of pregnancy.
Studies show that those who take a birth class:
- Are less likely to have a C-section
- Are less likely to need an induction
- Have a better birth experience
I just have to say, are you ignoring this part of birth prep?
Or, did you take a class that didn’t feel like it told the whole story (many birth classes fall short, especially free ones). You want to be sure you take a class that covers:
- 3rd trimester testing
- Planned pregnancy events — like managing the pain, and how labor usually progresses
- Unplanned events like needing an induction, a cesarean or making tricky choices in labor
- Managing postpartum (and breastfeeding if you choose to do that).
I recommend this one (although with lots of other places including Baby List).
It covers all of the above, can be done in just three hours and is taught by an experienced RN who really knows what you need to know (and cuts out a lot of the fluff). I think you’re really going to love that you took it (in fact, it guarantees it).
Yes, there’s a lot to get prepared, but I think those are three things I see get missed a lot. They’re not often on baby prep checklists — but, if you need one of those too — grab mine here:
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