I’ll start this post with one of my own larger parenting fails. The kind where CPS almost came out to my house.
It starts, as all good stories, with me trying to do a good deed. I had offered to play my flute with the church choir at a large church meeting. The meeting started at 10 am but we had to be there at 8:30. I helped Princess P pick out her dress and reminded her she had an hour to get her room clean before we’d be back to get her {keeping in mind my two older children – -one almost 16 were home} Off me and the husband went to practice with the choir. We had been there about 15 minutes when I noticed a wet, red-faced P with one of my BFF’s at the back of the church room.
I was wondering WHY on earth I saw her with P.
I ran back to meet them.
This good friend had been headed to the airport on her way to a fun trip when she realized she had forgotten her sunglasses, had turned around to get them and there was a bawling Paige walking to church.
You see, after we had left, Paige thought we had left her alone at home (when in reality both boys were home). She never called out, she just hurried to get her church dress on and ran out of the garage. She then proceeded to walk to church – which is about 3 miles away, with several busy streets to cross.
By the time my friend found her, she was well over half a mile away from our house. I think at this point she was starting to realize she wasn’t exactly sure how to get to church and was likely not sure how she could get home from where she was.
My friend said that P was saturated in tears. I am also thankful for a kind soul from our neighborhood who had followed her to see if she was OK. That person was about to call the police and I am really grateful the situation didn’t go that far.
**Before I go on, this is the friend that is most-mom-like to P of anyone on earth. She’s the mom of P’s best friend, she and I hang out a lot and we both know each other’s kids well and treat them like our own when necessary. It is amazing the small miracles that God can make happen for a traumatized 7 year old on the side of the road.
As I cuddled my sweet barely-seven year old daughter I thought of the many ways that situation could have gone terribly wrong. So grateful for how it went right.
Then, we did an M&M with the room. M&M stands for morbidity and mortality – we do them at the hospital when there is something that goes wrong to discuss what we could do better the next time.
- I should be more clear when I leave and when I’ll be back
- The boys should be more alert to what’s going on at home when I’m not there
- P should call, see if anyone else is home or just wait a bit before making rash choices.
But, then – I thought about seven year olds.
And I thought about how I needed to change how I act with her.
There is so much that small children just “go with the flow” with as they grow up. They just kind of take what you say for granted and just go with it.
But somewhere before eight years of age kids start to really think things out themselves.
But, at seven those things aren’t really connecting and they make silly decisions sometimes. Decisions that could be SUPER problematic, but at the time they make perfect sense — to a seven year old.
Our church baptizes children at the age of eight and I must admit that eight really is the age where they start to grasp right and wrong and how to make good choices.
But at seven they’re just on the road to that journey and its really important that we talk to them about the whole situation, our reasons and the ideas in our brains so they get more of the full picture.
It’s a lesson I learned the hard way (which could have been much harder). Hopefully, this reminds you.
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