I am a firm believer in a Sunday bag. I don’t show up to church with a pen I am hoping to entertain my baby for 3 hours with.
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear
– and I think that goes for church with kids as well (or any place you need your kids to be quiet). 🙂
Here are my 5 “truths” for church bags, or a quiet bag.
If you liked this post, be sure to check out my post about my course Family Routines:
1. Make it a special bag.
Designate one bag as quiet bag. Have a special place to store it and the kids NEED to know it doesn’t get messed with during the week. My kids, on occasion, have found their ways to the this bag — and they didn’t make that mistake twice. Check out this cute one on Amazon.
2. Find things that are FUN and QUIET to go in it.
Up until my kids are about 3 — I do include toys in the bag. It’s hard to keep your attention with just books before that age. They’re were always quiet toys. A “find it” toy, a little doll, finger puppets (I love the ones from Ikea). Obviously, they need to be age appropriate. Prior to nursey, you need a LOT of toys. Don’t be afraid of bringing a full bag of toys.
I’m careful to divvy out the toys, and try to keep some “new” for Sunday school and Relief Society (some days I am better at this than others). If money isn’t as much of an issue — Costco often has great options for you {and aren’t often expensive}. Sometimes I’d give a present for my little one’s birthday, I’d covertly steal it and add it to the church bag! Be sure to check out the post I wrote later on what toys are in my quiet bag! In case you don’t have time to click over, favorites of mine are these, this and that, and lately we’ve totally been loving these!
3. Those toys are ONLY for Sundays.
You don’t play with them during the week. The end. They are ONLY for church.
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4. I had quite a collection of quiet toys.
I was able to rotate through them, and this is the ideal. I didn’t spend much money on them. I found them at Goodwill, or garage sales. You just need to keep your eyes open for new, fun toys that will be age appropriate for whatever you need. Baby toys are easy to find at those places (and they alwasy had a nice dunk in bleach before my kids saw them). There’s lots of cool books at Goodwill, etc. My rotation system, similar to my shirt rotation system was kept in a filing cabinet type drawer. I just put the last used toys at the back, and the newer toys at the front. Again, the only time my kids saw these toys was at church. I always make sure my kids had crayons and a notebook/coloringbook/workbook in their bags. Those are the best (but my kids ebb and flow with their love of coloring).
5. I actually had a separate box for quiet toys at other meetings.
Being that I was the PTO/PTA queen for a long time while Princess P was tiny, she needed to have a lot of distractions while I was at meetings. I didn’t need those toys to be quite as “reverent” though at PTO meetings. I found some cool polly pocket sets, cool “all in one” coloring books. Again, I just kept my eyes open. Because I had SO many meetings (often 2/week) I needed separate toys for that.
A couple other things:
* I did bring food to church once my kids were able to eat solids. It is a fun and exciting thing for new eaters, AND, it’s quiet! BUT, I really try not to bring that out during sacrament meeting. It’s a personal choice, and it probably wouldn’t be the same choice if we had sacrament meeting last. At least with food in my “back pocket” i knew I’d have something for those other hours. I think it also helps keep the chapel a “special” place where we just don’t eat. Again, a personal choice. AND, when I come early for choir right now I do bring cereal in a bag with a groggy P since it’s so early. So, it’s a flexible rule. :
** The quiet bag dwindles as my kids get older. The amount, the size, and the items. By the time they are baptized, the bag is eliminated. It is replaced with a scripture bag that usually has a notebook and some colored pencils in it (and, obviously scriptures).
Anyway, for me, my kids learning to be quiet is REALLY important, but I don’t have overly ambitious goals with them sitting for long periods with nothing to do AND being quiet. Princess P had a lot of toys as she was tiny, and at this point, she has a couple of books and a coloring item (be it a notebook, or a coloring book). I sometimes throw in some stickers if I’m feeling like a giver. That bag, goes with Drew after sacrament meeting. Nothing bugs me more than kids bringing a giant bag of fun into Primary. Take it from them, people.
So, what did you do for church, or quiet, bags? I know you are your child’s parent for a reason — and my kids did better with a little distraction. The last thing I needed was kids hating church. They can save that for when they’re primary president. {kidding} {mostly}
** If you enjoyed this post, you might also find my new Creating Quiet Bags post interesting — you can even sign-up to learn how to host a busy bag swap here:
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Some of my other MomHacker posts:
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Jessi Fearon (@TheBudgetMama) says
Oh I so need to make one of these bags. My boys make me crazy in mass! They are so loud and want nothing more than to climb over the pews, kneelers, and all over the floor!
Hilary says
Haha, kids just ARE crazy. I hope these ideas help! 🙂
Annie says
Wish I would have thought of these ideas when my kids were young. I had one that would try to climb under pews and look up a lady’s skirt. The other one would climb under the pew and say, “HI!”
Perhaps a quiet bag would make a special gift for a young mother whose child has a birthday or other such special occasion? (That would be an awesome gift to me to give to someone when they have a birthday, your kid is invited to the party, and you have no idea what to get them.)
Hilary Erickson says
I think quiet toys are ALWAYS a great gift. 🙂
Shannon @ Of The Hearth says
These are great tips! My husband and I are just beginning our journey as parents, but I always have my eyes open for helpful ideas. We’ll definitely be utilizing your suggestions.
Hilary says
I hope you find them helpful! I think being prepared is half the battle. 🙂
Melissa says
I read somewhere (can’t remember now, it was years ago) a mom made a sheet of words that you would commonly hear in any sermon (God, prayer, thanks, etc.) and every time her kids heard that word they were to put a check mark next to the word. I have done this with my older kids (they start sitting with us in church at age 4, before that there is a nursery and Jr. Church) and it works really well. It also teaches them to sit and listen quietly. We have 7 children and so far, with the older 4 it has worked well. My younger 3 are still too young for this.
Hilary says
Melissa — that is a great idea! I should make one of those for my youngest. Maybe we could suggest that for the program. 🙂
Renae says
Yay! We have a Sunday bag and it’s nice to see someone who’s family is as reverent as yours is went down a similar path once upon a time…it gives me hope 🙂
Hilary says
Haha, wehave boys. They’ve fully wrestled during church. You do what you can. 🙂
Katie says
We actually have bags ready for children at my church and am always looking for new, fresh ideas to put in the bags. Our rules are they (the stuff in the bags) must be quiet, non-sticky, and non-edible). The biggest hit are chenlle stems (pipe cleaners). Everyone gets 3 and they adore them. Also each bag has a dry erase board, dry-erase marker and a piece of kleenex as an eraser. I get so much positive feedback from parents on just those 2 items. We cover 3 year olds-5th grade with the bags.
Hilary says
That’s nice of you to have them all ready! Pipe cleaners are a great one. I use those in the car sometimes. What a great idea!
Lisa says
Great post! I also have a bag for when we go out to eat that stays in the car and is only pulled out when we’re going to a restaurant. We have 3 boys (5,4 and 1) and it has worked really well. We are some of the very few (it seems) parents who don’t let their kids play with our phones/Ipad etc. They get to on very rare occasions (like watching a video on my phone when they’re getting a shot at the doctor), but other than that they don’t get to play on them. I want to TALK, play and interact with them when we are out together as a family and there are lots of other things to play with at home. It makes me a little bonkers (and very sad( to see a family out to dinner and see the parents talking and all of the kids on a device.
Hilary says
I VERY rarely give my kids a device. I won’t say it NEVER happens, but it’s rare (and I’m VERY desperate).
That is a great idea for a restaurant bag!
Shell says
Could you or anyone make a list of idea for quiet bags, or give me examples or share what you have in yours?!
Thank you!
Shell
Hilary says
Color books, flap books, just whatever you find that you think will be appropriate for the situation your kid needs to be quiet in. 🙂
Ang says
I have heaps of ideas for quiet toys for toddlers/preschoolers on my blog if you are interested- try here for a start: http://angathome.com/2011/10/12/mat-time-on-the-go/
Hilary says
Oh man, we had blanket time with my kids, I forgot about that! Great ideas!
Y Hall says
My 20 yr plan came from observation of another ‘quiet’ family–we modified it. Here is our version. Three questions-three scoops. We started by having 3 scoops of ice cream as a ‘reward’ after church each Sunday. If during the meeting someone was not managing themselves—I would wink at them–indicating they lost a scoop–still left me as the reverence Gestapo. So plan evolved. It became 3 scoops for 3 questions. And it applied to EVERYONE in the family. They questioned each other and every happening or music or anything said in the meeting was fair game. The kids took notes on the talks, songs, who did what, etc. for years. They asked us as parents (and any visiting relatives) the hardest questions! Worked for the years when they graduated from the toy/treat stage. We started at age 3—questions were scaled in difficulty to fit age/stage.
Hilary says
I LOVE it! I’d get fat, but I love it. Although, I don’t listen all that well on my own — maybe I wouldn’t. 🙂 We have correlated a 3 strike system to popcorn and a movie in the past. I think we need to re-do that.
MichelleC says
Silly Putty. It is amazing how such a simple little thing keeps kids quiet. 😀
Hilary says
I haven’t done silly putty, just because my kids have some weird ability to still get that stuff all over. Pull it, til’it strings out and then get that all over the bench. I’d totally take it to a non-church meeting though!
Joyce says
I know I am way behind on this post, but one of my favorite things was pipe cleaners. They are inexpensive, and the kids can be creative and quiet all at one time.
Hilary says
Pipe cleaners are WAY cool and super cheap! smart idea!
Camillia Peoples says
Thanks for this amazing post. My daughter just turned 2yrs old and she’s a HANDFUL in church. Will a bag like this work for her? She also likes to talk really loud, what can I do to minamize that.
Hilary says
We used to do whisper practice. I’d play some quiet music and we’d practice whispering. I just think he wasn’t very good at it before that. 🙂
Adriana says
love this post. My daughter is 3 and can stay quiet for a good portion of the mass, but closer to the end she starts talking or singing really loud when shes not supposed to. I’m in the process of making a quiet book specifically for church. It will have the order of the mass that way she can follow along on what is happening but at the same time she has something to play with and be quiet. The pages will have some type of activity that relates to what is happening. But i’m definitely adding the bag with other goodies in there so its not always the same thing. Thank you the ideas are great!
Hilary says
Oh, I LOVE that — the idea it follows along with the mass! Appreciate the love. 🙂
Hilary says
Thanks for the link!