Things Your Mom Did Wrong

Ok, your mom was likely great. At the very least she has actually kept you alive up until this point. However, there is a lot that’s changed since you were a baby. With all the research and information that we have now, there’s a few things to do differently…. so while your mom might have been right to do these things at the time…. stuff has changed. So, let me help you know when to ignore them!

You may be tempted to get your labor advice from your mom or a friend, but make SURE you’re getting it from someone who’s up to date with current standards and what to expect at the hospital NOW.

**I wrote this post because so often new moms have us telling them one thing in the hospital — and then their mom tells them something else when they go home, and they end up confused. This will give you the confidence on these things to know things have changed.

Sleeping on Their Tummy

Babies go back to sleep.  Babies need plenty of tummy time when they are awake (even if they cry like my kids did) but when it’s bedtime/naptime they need to lay on their backs.  It’s a sids precaution that time has shown has worked.  When we were babies, it was all about tummies to sleep. Ignore your mom (in this case).

Babies still need LOTS of time on their tummies though! Don’t leave them on their back when it’s not for sleep. Tummy time helps them build the muscles they will need! Check out my post on what to do with your baby all day.

Alone in The Crib

It’s likely your mom used bumpers, and it saved her from a little one flailing an arm out of the crib and then crying that they can’t get it out. Bumpers, even mesh ones, are a thing of a past.

This is, again, because of a SIDS precaution.  That baby gets their face next to the bumper and only inhales their on CO2… no bumpers.  No matter how cute they are. 

While we’re at it, no pillows or stuffed animals. in the crib!  Cribs should be barren places of safety.  Sorry cute people.  Put all the cute stuff on the bookshelf.  While we’re at it — I’ve had a few grandmas trying to put pillows in cribs.  Absolutely NO PILLOWS.

No Honey

They used to give us honey for the weirdest things.  I bet it worked.  Until we died of botulism.  Ignore your mom {in this case}.  Kids shouldn’t have honey until about 2-3 years (ask your pediatrician).

No Peanut Butter

While we’re talking honey, there was a strange phase where we kept kids away from potentially allergy-inducing things, and then later found out that it could CAUSE those allergies if babies weren’t exposed to it in the womb/early on. So, babies can have peanut butter (and you can have it while you’re pregnant too).

Formula is Best

A lot of women in the 70’s and 80’s didn’t breastfeed. They thought that the advanced technology of formula was considered best.  Turns out that was wrong.  Although, I have a whole post on what to look for if breastfeeding isn’t working that you might enjoy too!

I am a huge fan of doing what works for you, but some moms will say “just formula feed” because that’s what they did. I talk a lot about my breast/formula journey in the last few lessons in here that people find super helpful.

Birth Stories

My mom is 400% certain that she was 8 weeks overdue with me. I was around 7 pounds, no issues growing…. She has so many stories that I just nod and smile about. I find it amusing that now I’m The Pregnancy Nurse® with all of that.

Let me boil it down that my mom’s stories weren’t all that helpful about birth. Things get foggy, medical care was likely different. I loved hearing about her feeling me the first time, or what it was like to be pregnant with the person that would become me. But birth stories (including the pudundal block) wasn’t helpful.

She also wondered why I needed so many ultrasounds (I got 2)…. Sometimes it’s just good to remind them that care chances as science advances.

And, to take a good prenatal class on your own.

“Maternity Leave”

Maybe your mom stayed home, or maybe she went back to work — but what they were facing may be VERY different than what you are facing.

Sometimes they have strong opinions about what we should do or be and we have to just stay in our lane and remind ourselves that things are different now.

OR, your mom may be a good reminder that life WILL go on even if baby is daycare. My mom was just not that person, so I had to sort of block her out. 🙂

Car Seats

How your parents used car seats may be very different than how they are used today. It is honestly a VERY different land for a lot of baby gear, so it’s important to not take their opinion too heavy on these.

Also, they likely used walkers and other things that aren’t recommended for babies anymore.

Oh, and while we’re here they may have let you sleep in your car seat (while not driving), or swing and studies show that just isn’t safe anymore…. so, just make sure you’re doing the best practices you can.

Gender Roles

There’s a good chance your mom did most of the “baby care” and may think you should too.

Her roles in her relationship have no bearing on what your roles are going to be in your relationship.

It’s so smart to take everyone’s strengths and use them to enhance that baby. Divvy up the roles for ways that work for you.

And we talk lots about how you can make that work in here.

Love That Baby

Oh wait, no — they got that part right.  I guess they were good moms after all. 🙂

There’s going to be a LOT that is different for your child than it was for you. There’s a lot (both good and bad) that’s different for YOU than it was for her. You’re figuring out your own path and that’s OK!

What else did your mom tell you that wasn’t right?  Give me the dirt on when you had to ignore your mom. 🙂  Wonder what our kids will have to do differently?

**Let me be clear this isn’t a bash on our moms.  My mom {pictured above} was a WONDERFUL mother who raised me in a loving home and certainly tried to keep me as safe as she knew best.  I AM saying that there are a few things your mom did differently then you’ll be told to do now.  Things change.  I wonder if babies will be back to their tummies one day? 🙂

FYI, This post was originally published June 21st, 2014 but I re-published it after I felt like it could be re-done in 2024.