Advice & Tips for Dads During Labor

Let’s give some advice dads during labor from an L&D RN will help you BOTH be a lot more comfortable in the delivery room. We’ll talk support, snacks and even what to wear! You know, the most important things! These are some of the best ways a dad can be a supportive partner during the stages of labor and delivery process.

Back in the day, dads stayed in the waiting room, while moms and nurses did all the work.

No more.

You are this baby’s dad.

You will be more involved in his/her life than any other generation ahead of you.  And that starts now.

But, that isn’t to say that many dads make some serious faux pas in the delivery room.  Let’s discuss….

Best tip for dads in the delivery room:

One of the BEST tips for dads is to have a clue what’s going on.

Most classes kind of ignore dads, but I have one that makes you an integral partner.  Dads are some of the biggest fans of this birthing class because of how quick and to the point it is!  You can even save 10% with code PC10.  It’s great, but you don’t have to take my word for it — check out these online birth classes reviews.

BTW, don’t miss my hospital packing list, it’s a great way to know what to bring — there’s even a section on what Dad should bring to the hospital!

Advice for dads during labor:

Don’t Complain. 

My husband kept complaining about how cold it was in the labor room. Over, and over and over…. As the doctor ripped (and I do mean ripped) a baby out of my loins, my poor husband was cold. Do you sense how sad this makes me?  Probably not the right time for his comments.

Just try to be prepared, and then suck it up during the day….

Be considerate of your food

Your wife, likely, can’t eat (if she can, by all means, get you both something!). You go to KFC and get a 9 piece meal and proceed to eat in front of her, plan on it being more like 6 months of pelvic rest if you know what I mean {wink, wink, nudge-nudge}. Some wives really don’t care, but many do.

It is smart to find a good time to step out and grab something at the cafeteria. It will do you good to stretch your legs, and it will give your wife a little time off from being a “watched pot”. I also recommend dads bring a few snacks in their bag. Things like trail mix where you could quickly jump out in the hall and eat are the best snacks for dads during labor.

Make sure you DO eat though

So many dads want to keep solidarity with their wife that they, too, won’t eat.

I hope they enjoy eating the floor because having a baby, even when everything is perfectly normal, is a tense situation. For you (and most people), it’s not something you see every day. 

So, while I don’t recommend #2, I DO think it’s a good idea to get SOMETHING to eat, just like I said above and in my dad’s hospital bag post. Don’t miss my whole post

You are not the patient

No, I can’t give you a Tylenol, no while I’m running to grab your wife an epidural I am not going to stop to get you juice. You are completely capable and I will certainly show you where you can grab those things.

Best way: Just ask your nurse where you can grab things. It shows you want to make an effort, and she may just grab it for you (or, show you were it is).

Stick around

You should plan to be in the room for most of the duration from early labor to the birth of your baby. Plan someone to watch your kids, get your mail and take your car to get it lubed.

We know you’re nervous as an expectant father, and the labor process is CRAZY boring, but stick around! Make sure to bring some stuff to do while you’re there on delivery day in your bag.

This is just anatomy

I see both ends of the spectrum. Some dads are WAY too excited (no perineal massage) and some dads are super grossed out. It’s no longer your playground, it’s a portal of birth for your new baby. You’ll get your playground back soon enough. It’s just anatomy class at this point.

Be respectful of your partner’s privacy, but also be willing to help he through any moment she needs help with.

So, what SHOULD dads do in the delivery room?

The best thing to do is to ask how you can help. Your first response might not be the right one. She might want you to give her a back rub or you might smell, and she hates you. Who knows, and it might change every minute. As her support person, you have an important role.

She may be so confused she’s not sure what to think when the big day comes — so be sure to check out the Am I In Labor Checklist.

Let her run the remote if she’d like.

Get her the phone, make sure her charger is within reach.

Know where the chapstick and scrunchie are (more about that here).

Get her more ice chips.

Try to be helpful to the delivery nurse. Listen to what she says. That way when your partner has a question 2 minutes after the nurse answers, you’ll know the answer.

Difference between dad and the nurse

Nurses are there to carry out the doctor’s orders. We provide safety are an encyclopedia of knowledge. Dads are there for continuous support during the birth experience. You are the best person to tell mom she CAN do it and how much you love her and are proud of her.

You are a cheerleader, a partner, a coach and a best friend. You are an integral part of the day!

Be aware of your own limits.

If you’re not feeling well, sit down. Don’t try to be a tough guy during the birth of your child.

Yes, your wife will not think you’re as manly, but she won’t want to hit you like she would be if you actually fainted and take the hospital staff away from the actual labor.

What should dads do after delivery?

Now is your chance to be the great dad superhero. Get her the food she wants (quickly). Grab her extra pillows. Change the diapers, get as much info on raising a newborn from the nurse as you can. Assist in breastfeeding and know how to tell if breastfeeding isn’t working.

Put her sleep above your own for a few days and make sure she’s doing alright. The birthing experience is hard work whether it’s a short or long labor.

You can also make any phone calls to check on the friend or family member who is in charge of your other children.

Once the baby is out you are true partners in this baby raising journey. Get started! And, help her to rest and heal from childbirth.

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Last thing, now that I’ve given you some awesome tips — it’s time to get prepared

>> Join the Online Course today! <<

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Being a dad is so amazing, be sure to get started on the right foot!  Hopefully, you found these tips helpful.

My whole page answering the big question am I in labor? Has all the best links for that!

And don’t miss my page weeks of pregnancy — great for people just starting out on their pregnancy journey:

Want more labor tips — be sure to sign up for my pregnancy emails, and check out all my other delivery tips below that!